If you are a parent, you know what I mean when I say... parenting is not easy! Some days are tougher than others. For me, today is one of those days.
The day wasn't even off to a start yet and I already felt like I failed. It is now lunch time and I'm still grasping onto grace to get me through this day. It's one of those days when an extra portion of grace is called for... for me!
I wake up to consciousness and the first thing I hear... arguing and bickering. I asked myself... what now and why now?!? Mornings are crazy enough as it is! I jerked my body out of bed, forgetting to pray... because, you know, there's an emergency I need to deal with. Of course, things just go downhill from there.
Note to self: next time don't skip the prayer!
I also whisper a
thank-you for His allowing me time this week to read Chapter 7 (Seeing Through The Glass) of
One Thousand Gifts early, in preparation for this coming Sunday's vlog on Bloom (In)Courage. These quotes are the reasons why...
How can I help this son of mine see when I can't see? The parent must always self-parent first, self-preach before child-teach, because who can bring peace unless they've held their own peace? Christ incarnated in the parent is the only hope of incarnating Christ in the child...
How do I fix this? Them? Me? In this messy, Jesus whispers, "What do you want?" and in the ugly, I cry, "I want to see - see You in these faces." He speaks soft, "Seek My face." I want to answer with David, "My heart says to you, 'Your face, Lord, do I seek' " (Psalm 27:8 ESV) but I'm desperate to grab someone, anyone, and shake hard, "How do I have the holy vision in this mess? How do I see grace, give thanks, find joy in this sin-stinking place?"
I look for the ugly beautiful, count it as grace, transfigure the mess into joy with thanks and eucharisteo leaves the paper, finds way to the eyes, the lips.
In the domestic cloud of dust and family, I too can forget the One who sees me, but in eucharisteo, I remember.
So many days, so hard. I want to give up too. But give up the joy-wrestle... and I die.
Feel thanks and it's absolutely impossible to feel angry. We can only experience one emotion at a time. And we get to choose - which emotion do we want to feel?
Wrestle with God, beg to see the blessings... and all faces become the face of God.
God knew I needed the words from this chapter to help me get through this day. Therefore today I joy-wrestle and practice eucharisteo for...
#361 - #371
~ Reading Chapter 7 of One Thousand Gifts early.
~ The ups and the downs of parenthood.
~ Eyes to see the beauty of parenting on days like today.
~ The privilege of working through hard things with my son.
~ Being able to point him in the direction of his Heavenly Father.
~ Teaching him to practice eucharisteo... in all situations.
~ The gift of prayer...
~ God's peace for this anxious heart.
~ His mercies... they are new every morning!
~ His grace... when I fail to parent well.
~ Re-starts... for everyone! :-)
Hoping for a brighter afternoon!
Unwrapping more of His love in this world.
Act justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!