Tuesday, July 6, 2010

A Sore Heart...

My heart is sore these days... there are many questions hubby and I are asking each other lately that is making us wonder if we are in the exact place where God can use our family to our fullest potential.  While we are loving and serving God with all our heart, our soul, our mind and our strength; at the place where we serve God right now, the spark seems to have vanished.  

Yet, on certain days... I see a glimmer of that spark.  Like yesterday when I spoke to a woman who is a single mom; struggling to make ends meet; thanking me over and over again for the help that was provided for her; telling me that God will bless me for my efforts... it's during moments like that when my heart grows even more sore.

Difficult days... tears fall often... all I want to do is live for Jesus.

As hubby and I ponder on questions... sometimes getting an answer and sometimes not, God is still good.  In my blog readings the past couple of days, I came across two posts that have been incredibly encouraging.  One from Carey Neiuwhof and another one from Ann Voskamp.

Here are some snippets from Ann's blog as many things written on there truly spoke to me, in fact that is where the title for this blog post comes from. So... here are some things that jumped out at me:
I don’t know why He just won’t tell me straight out what is the best use of these days and is there anything that lasts and where is my place in the world? This heart sloshes its ache.
“I believe God wants us all to live bothered by things around us that are not right… Possibly the most important indicator of true religion is the desire to love and care for people who hurt." from the book True Religion by Palmer Chinchen
My heart hurts. Does it hurt over the right things? Does it hurt in triplicate for the eternal or does it only hurt for things that are like straw to Him? Am I bothered by the pain in this world? Or just the pain in me?
I answer Jesus. But I’m only going if I know that you are going with me and this is about you and your one life.
Offering pieces of heaven to heal the sore of this earth and together we'll heal.
As God slowly guides my sore heart into wholeness once again... my prayer as always remains the same... Here I am. Lord, send me!

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