Showing posts with label parenting: My Precious Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting: My Precious Children. Show all posts

Monday, July 2, 2018

On Milestones, Medals and Musings on Motherhood...

Five days ago my baby boy walked across that stage and literally, just like they said it would be—like a blink of an eye, he's graduated from high-school.

I don't think I was quite prepared for the emotions that would flood this mama-heart of mine, because I literally had to compose myself to stop a tsunami of tears from streaming down my face!

I guess there's something milestone-ish about the youngest child finishing high-school, isn't there?

It felt like one phase of life is ending.
Like the page is flipping to a new chapter.
With a bright future about to unfold.

One that is much more vast than this mama can enfold in her arms.

I guess that's why the mama-tears wanted to flow.

Where exactly has all that time gone to anyway?

Don't blink. Parents of littles, don't blink—because time waits for no one. It truly flows like a relentless river.




 I am incredibly proud to be known as this amazing young man's mama. I am truly blessed beyond measure. I have recently started using the hashtag #MotherhoodIsSanctifying on my social media posts, because motherhood truly is that!

Sanctifying.

Our gracious Heavenly Father has used my motherhood journey to sanctify me. To remake me into this better version of myself.

God's grace truly is astoundingly beautiful. For someone as broken as I am to have been gifted this extraordinary young man as a son to raise is exceedingly more than I know to ask for or could ever even dare to imagine.

He walked across that stage multiple times and I beamed with so much pride and joy each time, as he shook his Principal's hand and she handed him multiple awards in recognition of his leadership, dedication and hard work...
The Lillian Evelyn Bloom Award—awarded to graduates who have demonstrated academic excellence and dedicated involvement in school activities.
The Ontario Principal's Council Award—awarded to a graduate who has demonstrated academic excellence and involvement in co-curricular and community activities.
And this one, reserved only for the top graduate—the Governor General's Academic Medal and Dunbarton Scholarship—awarded to the graduating student with the highest average in his/her senior years of high-school.
To God be the glory, great things He has done!

 This Fall, this boy is headed to the University of Toronto, Canada's top university, to study Engineering Science, one of the most selective and advanced engineering programs offered in the world.

These are undoubtedly incredible achievements and his dad and I are extremely proud of this young man.

A post shared by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on

I am so unbelievably proud of this kid right here. He graduated top of his class today, while being recognized with two additional awards for his leadership, community involvement and academic excellence. Many will think that this comes naturally to him, without much effort. And while God has certainly gifted him with intellect, I have also witnessed Jon’s work ethic, perseverance, tenacity and dedication at work over these past four years. I have the rare vantage point to see just how hard Jon works to excel in everything he puts his mind to, and it is one of the most inspiring things in my life. Beyond achieving top grades and being crazy smart, Jon has built a world-class speedcubing career, volunteered countless hours, formed solid friendships, built his knowledge in a plethora of super interesting things, and become quite a photographer. And yet, all those things are even less important still than the ways that he has grown and bloomed into a compassionate, kind and courageous follower of Jesus. @genius4jesus - keep pursuing Jesus with your everything. Seek first His kingdom, and all these things will be added to you also. What a promise - I pray that you will always claim that in your life. I pray that you will always know and experience his deep love and extravagant grace. As you embark on the next chapter, may your solves be fast, your baskets be swishes, your studies be enriching, your compassion be expansive, and your faith be radical. I can’t wait to see what God does next in your life from this unique vantage point I am so privileged to have as your big sis. I will be here cheering you on every step of the way. I love you, Jon! 🎉💛🙌🏼👨🏻‍🎓🎊✨
A post shared by alyssa esparaz (@_godsgal4ever) on

Many have congratulated us on a parenting job well done and this is what I have to say in response: There is this quote by C.S. Lewis that has always informed and guided my motherhood journey, and it has proven to be true time and time again. It says: “Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.”

You see, the goal was never medals, awards or academic achievements.

The goal was always this, and this alone—a man after God's own heart.

 Of course, there is no magic parenting formula, but there are these words, from Matthew 6:33, that are strongly worth considering and taking to heart—"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

As much as this mama-heart swelled with so much pride and joy seeing how much this boy has accomplished in his young life, it overflows and bursts with even more pride and joy knowing how much he seeks for God's grace to be at work and manifested in his life.

Such as when he chooses to spend his day-off like this...


Or when he foregoes a significant Rubik's Cube competition which could improve his standings, so that he can do this instead—in order to see over 150 Compassion children released from poverty in Jesus' name...


Or when he leads and rallies together his peers, and as a result they raise almost $10,000 for UrbanPromise Toronto...


My beloved son...
My heart overflows with so much love for you. More than words can ever express.

Mothering you has truly sanctified me. Each day, I thank God for you. Because of you, I am a better human.

It has been and continues to be one of my life's greatest privileges to walk this journey as your mama.

As you boldly step into the future, may my prayer for you since the day you were born always hold true—that you will always be "a man after God's own heart, doing everything God wants you to do." 

 My son, your future shines bright.

Yes, it is one that is much more vast than this mama can enfold in her arms.

 But it is one that will always be covered with prayers from her heart.
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Friday, December 22, 2017

2017 In Review {our family's year-end newsletter...}




We believe in Christmas... 

One merely has to scroll through social media or watch TV or glance at the headlines blaring from the newspaper stands to know that our world is becoming an increasingly dark place. Wars, natural disasters, political unrest, injustice, poverty, deep fissures in faith communities, racial tensions, gender-based violence... and the list goes on and on.

These were the realities of 2017.

As Christ-followers, more so than ever, we urgently need to be "a wick to light hope in the dark."
You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father. - Matthew 5:14-16, NLT.
As Ann Voskamp writes in The Greatest Gift, "When you are a wick to light hope in the dark, then you believe in Christmas. When you really believe in Christmas, you believe there is really hope for everyone."

In our own small way, our family desires to be this Jesus-light to our dark world. 


2017 highlights {the top 10, in no particular order}:

1. This year, we saw a couple of our Compassion kids leave the program because their parents are in better positions to support the families. As a result, we've welcomed two new kids to replace them: Taeng-Mo from Thailand and Justine from the Philippines (who is Alyssa's sponsor child). We've also added three children to our Compassion family: Hannah, Krevin and Jethro, who are all from the same Compassion implementing church partner located in my dad's hometown in the Philippines!

2. In the summer, Jon's speed-cubing "career" brought us all the way to London, England and Paris, France! What a treat! Our trip was well documented on Instagram under the hashtag #Esparaz2Europe!

3. Speaking of speed-cubing, Jon achieved two pretty amazing personal best solves this year: a 5.52-second solve of the 3x3 cube, which ranks him at 24th in the world and a 22.40-second solve of the 4x4 cube, which ranks 8th in the world!!!

4. Jon turned 17 this year... just where does the time go?!? He is currently buried deep in university and scholarship applications. He is hoping to go into either engineering or statistics.

5. During the latter half of the summer, we welcomed our church's 2nd Syrian newcomer family to Toronto! It has been such a gift to lead our church's refugee sponsorship committee and to walk alongside this precious family as they navigate the complexities of resettlement to a new country.

6. Alyssa is half-way through her 3rd year of International Development Studies at the University of Toronto. She is currently exploring placement opportunities as she will be embarking on an 8-12 month placement in a developing country next year.

7. In addition to being a full-time student, Alyssa manages to work part-time as Compassion Canada's Advocacy Associate. This year, she worked on the Eyes To See project which was released in September. She is also co-chair of the International Development Conference at her school. As if that's not already a full schedule, she also managed to do 25 speaking engagements over the course of this year!

8. Alyssa turns 21 in the New Year... just where does the time go?!? To celebrate this milestone birthday, she has set this audacious, bold and BIG goal—to see 21 Compassion children connected with sponsors! Family and friends, will you sponsor one of these children? Also, I'm going to be missing Alyssa's birthday this year—first time ever that I'll be missing her birthday—because I will be co-leading a Compassion Canada Pastors' Vision Trip to Nicaragua in February. So, if you choose a child from Nicaragua to sponsor, I'll be more than happy to bring them a gift from YOU! So... what are you waiting for? Click here now and help Alyssa meet her audacious, bold and BIG 21st birthday goal!!!

9. Speaking of Compassion, our family is celebrating 1150 Compassion children connected with loving sponsors here in the Greater Toronto Area in 2017 through various events and church services! We are deeply grateful for the dedicated and committed volunteers who so faithfully serve with us to grow Compassion's ministry here in the GTA. We are truly overwhelmed and incredibly humbled… we truly serve a good, good Father.

10. After more than a year of looking, researching and shopping, Floyd finally found the perfect one—a new-to-us Subaru Forester to replace our 14-year-old family van which gifted us with 307,000+ kilometres of memories starting from when Jon was only 3 years old!

As we look towards 2018, our family will seek to continue lighting this dark world and the unexpected places with a brave flame of joy; warming the cold, hopeless places with the daring joy that God is with us, God is for us, God is in us.  

Because we believe in Christmas.

From our family to yours... 
Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

With much love + gratitude,
The Esparaz Family:
Floyd, Aimee, Alyssa and Jon
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Tuesday, July 11, 2017

On Unexpected Ways God Answers Prayers...

After a long hiatus from writing, it took this #Esparaz2Europe trip to break the silence on this blog.

As I tap out these words on my iPad keyboard, we are speeding across The Channel Tunnel, a.k.a. The Chunnel, towards Paris. The Chunnel is considered one of the seven wonders of the modern world, the longest undersea tunnel on the globe.

My family and I just wrapped up three days of being tourists in London and two days cheering on my boy as he competed in the London Open 2017 Rubik's Cube speed-cubing competition.

In store for us in Paris are another four days of being tourists and four days of my boy competing in the 2017 World Rubik's Cube Championship.

My boy often says, "Speed-cubing is a privileged activity." I would agree with him 100% and I'm grateful that he recognizes this fact. Our privilege and wealth is certainly not lost on me, especially during this trip.

This is the first time, in many years, that we are not spending our summer vacation in a developing country visiting one of our Compassion sponsor children and immersing ourselves in their culture and way of life. These summer trips to the developing world have become a sacred form of pilgrimage for our family.

I thought twice about embarking on this trip to London and Paris.

Why? You might ask...

You see, I worried that my fickle heart would revert back into loving and craving these luxurious, self-pacifying vacations. I worried that our now beloved family tradition of summer pilgrimages to the developing world might somehow pale in comparison to this experience.

Yet, I recognize that God uses all our experiences for His glory, if only we let Him.



Before leaving home, I had a little chat with God. I asked Him to use this trip to continually open my eyes to the brokenness of this world, even in world-class cities like London and Paris.

We arrived in London last week late at night, after the long flight to Paris across the Atlantic and a lengthy delay with the Paris-London train.

When hubby googled how to take the "tube" to our hotel, he asked me: "Did you know that our hotel is right beside a mosque?" No, I didn't. We later find out that this mosque is one of the largest mosques in all of Europe!

We arrived at Whitechapel Station and proceeded to walk towards the hotel, luggages and backpacks in tow. We were definitely quite the sight... tourists! At the first stop light, while waiting to cross the street, a woman standing nearby proceeds to collapse to the ground... either drunk or high on drugs.

Upon arriving at our hotel, I spotted the mosque right away. I also noticed a facility across the street called Booth House, eerily similar in feel to Maxwell Meighen Centre back home. In fact, that entire walk from the tube station to the hotel felt eerily similar to walking along Sherbourne Street, where we do sandwich runs for the homeless back in Toronto.

With Google to the rescue again, I quickly learned that Booth House is one of the largest centres working with homeless men in London and is the largest Salvation Army centre in the entire country. I knew it, I was right about it feeling eerily similar to Maxwell Meighen Centre! 

Furthermore, Google said not to walk lengthy distances in this neighbourhood at night. Google can really scare the daylights out of you sometimes...

My mama-bear instincts kicked into high gear. In hindsight, I must confess that it was paranoia more than anything else. I hastily called a family meeting. I said: "We need to find another hotel. I don't care if we lose the money we already paid for this 6-night stay. This is not a safe neighbourhood with a homeless shelter across the street. And with the recent terror activities in London, the last place we want to be sleeping at is right beside a mosque!"

My rant was met with three bewildered stares and three logically wise minds. 

I really do thank Jesus for keeping my family's logic intact during my wildly illogical panicky moments. ;) 

They gently explained to me that the touristy places we will be visiting the next day are more of a target for terror attacks than the mosque itself. If we aren't avoiding the touristy areas, why should this be a problem? As for the homeless shelter, well... as I pointed out myself, it feels no different from Maxwell Meighen Centre back home... so why would it suddenly be scary, just because it's in London?

Gotta love my family! I quickly came to my senses and realized that I was acting like a paranoid woman.

Don't get me wrong. We did take precautions and found a better tube station to depart from/arrive at the hotel... and we took an Uber when we were returning late in the night.




I must confess that it took a while for me to fall asleep that first night. I lay awake and sensed God gently reminding me of my little chat asking Him to use this trip to continually open my eyes to the brokenness of this world, even in world-class cities like London and Paris.

Yes, that little chat! 

I had to chuckle upon realizing that this is God's way of answering my prayer. 

 Really... what answer was I expecting after a prayer like that?!? 

What better way to keep my eyes open to see the brokenness of this world than a daily reminder, with each 5-minute walk from the hotel to the tube station and back, of the life that street-involved people live and of a community of people facing harsh discrimination these days.

... with each day of being tourists and seeing posh London in all of its royalty, riches and glory, then returning to the broken and battered neighbourhood where our hotel is situated.

... with each end-of-the-day walking past the open doors of the mosque and seeing evening prayers happen and being reminded of the imminent arrival of our church's second sponsored Syrian refugee family. In fact, I received a pre-arrival email notice from the Government of Canada just yesterday!

... with each day of trekking over to luxurious Canary Wharf where the speed-cubing competition venue was, then returning back to our hotel at night. I kid you not, when the light rail train pulled into Heron Quays Station, I said to my kids: "This feels a lot like arriving in The Capitol in the Hunger Games movie!"

Furthermore, my girl had the privilege and joy to share about Compassion's work with a local Filipino congregation in east-side London and, as a result, saw 12 Compassion kids released from poverty in Jesus' name.


My girl's speaking engagement was, in hindsight, another way God was answering my prayer during this trip. 

It was a reminder to me that, even during a time of vacation, God can and will continue to use us to be His hands and His feet, if only we let Him... to not only release Compassion children from poverty in Jesus' name, but also to release fellow first-world Christ-followers from the poverty of too much, in Jesus' name.

Needless to say, posh London is certainly a place where the poverty of too much is clearly evident.

It reminded me of this quote by Shane Claiborne:
When the worlds of poverty and wealth collide, the resulting powerful fusion can change the world.
On our last night in London, we casually stroll along Whitechapel Road to a local Punjabi restaurant for dinner late that night. I realized that this neighbourhood has grown on me over these last five days.

... and I quietly thanked God for taking our family on yet another summer pilgrimage, to a place where we least expected it.

He truly is a good, good Father. Perfect in all of His ways, to us.
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Monday, August 22, 2016

On living a life of God-worship...

When I first became a mama, my greatest desire was to give my baby girl and her little brother the best that this world could offer.

Because I wanted the absolute best for them. Only the absolute best will do.


During the early years, hubby and I pursued this for our kids. Relentlessly and religiously pursued this. Because... only the best would do.

From babyGap clothes to StrideRite shoes. From Oxford Learning pre-school to Gymboree classes. From Disney vacations to Registered Education Savings Plans. 

You get the picture. We're stellar parents raising stellar children! Or so we thought...

We entertained thoughts of moving from our nice neighbourhood into an even nicer neighbourhood with better schools, better than the already pretty awesome public school that's within walking distance from our more than adequate home.

We sought to top last summer's vacation with an even awesomer one next time.

We strove for more income because only then can we provide our kids with the absolute best.

It was the pursuit of more. But... although we considered ourselves Christ-followers, we weren't living a life of God-worship.


I am grateful that God, in His infinite grace, found us early on in our parenting journey and removed the blinders from our eyes. He opened our hearts' eyes to see that the goal isn't to raise stellar human beings, but truly great children... ones whose lives exude Kingdom greatness and ones whose hearts break for the things that break God's. 

He impressed upon our hearts that the way to true greatness isn't via wanting what the world dictates is the absolute best for our children...

... because in giving of the world's best to our children, we are in fact giving them a whole lot of the detrimental gift of entitlement and afflicting them with affluence.
Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or —worse!— stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being. ~ Matthew 6:19-21, The Message.
We grappled with questions such as...
How is true greatness defined after all?
What do great kids look like?
How do we make sure we are raising our kids to be great?!?
The decision to live a life of God-worship wasn't easy, definitely counter-cultural... yet, I wouldn't trade it for anything! When confronted with research results such as the one I'm quoting below, I am especially grateful that God's grace confronted us very early on in our parenting journey:
In 2003, George Barna wrote in his research that a child's moral development is set by the age of nine. He wrote, "Habits related to the practice of one’s faith develop when one is young and change surprisingly little over time. The older a child gets, the more distracted and vulnerable he or she becomes to nonfamily influences."
Barna found that children who accepted Christ before their teen years are more likely to remain "absolutely committed" to Christianity. He stated, "It is during those pre-teen years that people develop their frames of reference for the remainder of their life." Source: Wikipedia.

Over the years, since our family started answering God with this wild nod of a yes to live a life of God-worship, it is changing many things.

 In fact, it is changing everything.... from how we celebrate Christmas and birthdays, to how we view corporate worship; from how we buy clothing and food, to the decisions we make when buying bigger tickets items such as vehicles; from the way we save money for the future, to the way we give.

 I have come to love this quote by C.S. Lewis...
I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc, is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditure excludes them. ~ C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity.
And also this quote by Joshua Becker...
Excessive consumption leads to bigger houses, faster cars, trendier clothes, fancier technology, and overfilled drawers. It promises happiness, but never delivers. Instead, it results in a desire for more… a desire which is promoted by the world around us. And it slowly begins robbing us of life. It redirects our God-given passions to things that can never fulfill. It consumes our limited resources. And it is time that we escape the vicious cycle. ~ Joshua Becker, 10 Reasons to Escape Excessive Consumerism.
Among other things, this decision to live a life of God-worship has changed the way we spend our vacation time... that's for sure!

This year is no different.

As I wrote in my previous blog post, we are headed to Haiti at summer's end. 

 Tomorrow, we will fly into Port-Au-Prince... and this week, we will spend a couple of days with our two Haitian Compassion children.

As Jennie Allen so eloquently wrote in a guest post on Ann Voskamp's blog:
... something is happening — not a feeling or love of adventure or desire for glory but something within us that is from God, a call to more: to die — to live. My heart is bleeding and I can’t make it stop. So we are praying and willing and dreaming of living for heaven instead of the American dream, and it is changing everything. And I am strangely okay with that.
Yes, I am indeed strangely okay... strangely okay with this.







My baby boy, now a young man and almost a whole head taller than me, said to me the other day that he is grateful we chose to raise him and his sister in this way, to live a life of God-worship...

... because if not, he doesn't know if he would come to the point of choosing it for himself.  

Profoundly thought-provoking statement which made this mama's heart swell with joy! I am deeply grateful and deeply glad.

Just last week, my kids and I spent a few days soaking up the Inspire Hope Conference at Muskoka Bible Centre. Compassion Canada's President/CEO, Barry Slauenwhite, said this during one of his teaching sessions:
Children are either afflicted by poverty or afflicted by affluence.
Ah, yes! This statement is profoundly true. 

Being afflicted by affluence, the poverty of having too much, is what God saved both our children from when His grace found us during those early years of our parenting journey and I will forever be grateful.

Turns out, my kids did get what's absolutely best for them. The absolute best thing... lives exuding Kingdom greatness and hearts broken for the things that break God's. 

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on

I'll be honest... some days, this journey is hard. Many days, the struggle is real and the sacrifices tough to swallow.

Yet, I will not have it any other way. Because this abundant life in Christ is worth the hard days and the struggles and the sacrifices.

I would not exchange this deep gladness with anything else.

 As we prepare to travel to Haiti for yet another one of our family's summer pilgrimages, these song lyrics have been constant in my heart and mind...
You live among the least of these | The weary and the weak | And it would be a tragedy | For me to turn away | All my needs You have supplied | When I was dead You gave me life | So how could I not give it away so freely?
And I'll | Follow You into the homes of the broken | Follow You into the world | Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God | Follow You into the world
Use my hands and use my feet | To make Your kingdom come | To the corners of the earth | Until Your work is done | Faith without works is dead | On the cross Your blood was shed | So how could we not give it away so freely?
And I give all myself | I give all myself | I give all myself to You
Have a listen to this beautiful song, friends...

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Friday, September 4, 2015

As Summer Draws To A Close...

This boy's birthday always signals the end of summer for us. Born on the evening of Labour Day fifteen years ago, we always celebrate his birthday on this long weekend before the start of school.

This year, it's no different. Tonight, we will celebrate at his favourite restaurant --- one we head to just once a year on this very special occasion.





Yet, somehow the end-of-summer this year feels different than previous ones.

 I'm not sure if it's because this girl is off to university and classes started yesterday, before the Labour Day long weekend... or if it's something else.





Sadly, I do think it's something else. My heart seems heavy as this summer draws to a close.

 It's been an eventful summer... both in our family's life and in world news.

This summer brought us to Guatemala where we came face-to-face with our Compassion daughter, Esperanza whose story unfolded not quite the way we expected. 

 We came face-to-face with young girls who have been forced into child labour or experienced physical and/or sexual abuse whose lives are being restored at Oasis Girls' Home.

 We stood stunned, speechless, frozen... gazing at the scene in front of us, with a multitude of vultures circling above our heads. A scene so surreal it was as if it was playing on a TV screen... right in front of us is a massive pit known as the Guatemala City Dump with many, many, many people, including children, working and scavenging and l-i-v-i-n-g in it.

One month after returning from Guatemala, the scene still haunts me today. The only thing that is a balm to my heart is knowing that God is at work in that place through the ministry of Compassion International.






Our world is broken, very broken.

 We come home to atrocious news of leaked videos about body organs from babies being sold, to shocking news of leaked data from an infidelity site, its main office located right here in our city, that proves Christians not being immune to it.

We are faced with a sudden and unexpected possible change in our family routine when God calls us to that oh-so-familiar outside-our-comfort-zone place where He seems to always call for our obedience, our yes!

We receive news of childhood friends dying, both mine and hubby's... gone to soon, way too young.



Our world is broken, very broken.

 We are inundated with election news, with reports of a global financial crisis, and with trivial social media posts on one's political stance when in other news, there's this report of ISIS enshrining a theology of rape, a news article that had me in an ugly cry before I even finished reading the first paragraph.

We were inundated with social media posts of people up in arms about a dead lion when in other news, there's a dead baby who has washed ashore in Turkey because the world has ignored the worst refugee crisis we've seen since World War II. We knew the name of the lion faster than we found out what that sweet little boy's name is. His name is Aylan Kurdi. 

No wonder my heart seems heavy as this summer draws to a close.

 It just wants to scream, "Lord Jesus, have mercy! Lord Jesus, heal our land."
... if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. ~ 2 Chronicles 7:14.
It just wants to pray this prayer of confession...

But as this summer comes to a close...
My heart, though heavy, still dares to hope --- "Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. (Lamentations 3:21-23)"

 His faithful love is evident when, on her very first day as an International Development Studies student at the University of Toronto, my girl pens this letter to little Aylan Kurdi, even before we found out what his name is... and I am one proud mama, proud of this young lady and of her brave and bold words.
Dear Nameless Boy -
Oh, I squirm while saying this to you - we've been living mindless lives instead of loving you until you're simply able to live.
We've filled churches on Sundays while you and your people filled boats and sailed straight to death - and are we really being the Church or just filling steepled buildings hollow?
Because we're full of empty good intentions and real-sounding excuses when we should be full of the love of Christ. 
And sweet boy, this is my apology, this is my outcry, but mostly this is my confession.
His mercies are evident when, on this his fifteen birthday, my boy is choosing to make a birthday donation to help little boys just like Aylan Kurdi who, together with their families, are currently seeking refuge in refugee camps and to make a similar donation to help our sister church with the sponsorship of a refugee family so that they can come live in Canada... and I am one proud mama, proud of this young man and of his heart of gold, one that beats in sync with God's.

No wonder my heavy heart still dares to hope as this summer draws to a close.

Because these two, my Generation Z children, though growing up in a very broken world... like many of their peers, have hearts of gold and have their eyes set on making this world a better place. 


So yes, a big resounding yes... as this summer draws to a close, this mama's heart smiles big and it still dares to hope. 

 Because...
... love will run on.
And we could be like a river of that living water.
We could widen and deepen, we could course our way through hard things and plow fresh new ways.
And our perspective could reflect a Kingdom, our lives could be a refuge and our choices could be a courage that goes against the current.
You can feel it in the air these days:
Something beautiful is rising.
~ Ann Voskamp.

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.
Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!
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Thursday, June 25, 2015

As She Walked Across That Stage...

This mama-heart of mine exuded with so much joy I thought it might explode. My first-born child, my baby girl, the one who made me a mama... she walked across that stage and just like that, she's graduated from high-school.

Where exactly has all that time gone to?

Don't blink. Parents of younger children, don't blink... because time waits for no one. It truly flows like a relentless river.

These 18+ years have flown by and this mama is deeply grateful to have had a front row seat to this God-story, to my girl's life where God's grace has been and continues to be powerfully at work in. 

So many beautiful memories... and so many more to look forward to!


I am so incredibly proud to call this amazing young woman my daughter. I am one blessed mama. God's grace truly is astoundingly beautiful. For someone as broken as I am to have been entrusted with this gift of such an extraordinary young lady as a daughter is beyond all I have ever asked for or have even dared to imagine.

He truly gives good gifts. This. astounds. me.


Yesterday she graduated from high-school with an award for her community service work and another one for her love of the French language.

And, edited on July 2, 2015 to add this... that, one week after her graduation ceremony, she got a call from her Principal letting her know that she's graduated as the top student of the Class of 2015, thus is the recipient of this year's Governor General's Academic Medal!!!

This award, along with all the other academic awards, wasn't announced at last week's graduation ceremony due to the unusual school year we had because of the teachers' strike, causing marks submission to be delayed.

All glory be to God alone!



This Fall, she will attend the University of Toronto to pursue an education, and eventually a career, in International Development, entering Canada's top university {and ranked 4th in the world} as a C. David Naylor University Scholar and a President's Scholar of Excellence, to live out her passion to speak out for those who are denied a voice.

These are undoubtedly incredible achievements and I am super proud of her! Trust me... just check out my innumerable #proudmama posts on social media. ;)





Yet, what truly makes this girl stand out is her God-given big heart for compassion and justice and that beautiful contagious smile which lights up an entire room when she enters.

This is a girl who, since the day she could walk and talk, always had the desire to help others. "Mama, me help?" was a regular request of hers.

This is a girl who, at just 12 years of age, listened to God's prompting and ended up propelling our family into a lifestyle of compassion and justice.

This is a girl who, at age 16, was recognized by her peers as someone who embodies living out peace in her everyday life.

This is a girl who, at age 17, agreed to collaborate with Compassion Canada to produce True Story: What God wants us to do about poverty, in order to reach her peers across this vast country of ours and across the globe with the message of God's story of redemption.




Best of all, this girl... my daughter, has changed the way I look at the world. 
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero. I am strong and wise and I know no fear. But the truth is plain to see, she was sent to rescue me. I see who I want to be in my daughter's eyes.
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal. Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace. This miracle God gave to me, gives me strength when I am weak. I find reason to believe in my daughter's eyes.
~ Martina McBride.

My story changed when this girl entered my life... and I have not looked back and I have been blessed beyond measure because of it. God has used motherhood to disciple me in ways that I will always and forever be grateful for.
Christian discipleship is a decision to walk in his ways, steadily and firmly, and then finding that the way integrates all our interests, passions, and gifts, our human needs and eternal aspirations. It is the way of life we were created for. ~ Eugene H. Peterson.
You don't realize your story is changing you until you look back. ~ Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.
I am feeling all sorts of emotions as I realize that the time has come for this story's next chapter to unfold. 

 Yes, transitions and change have always been hard for this mama to face... so I am choosing to find comfort and strength in the reality that God loves her infinitely more than I ever can! 

 My dearest Alyssa...
Words aren't adequate enough to express just how much joy you have brought into your daddy's and my life. Everyday, I thank God for you. You. are. a. gift... a grace-gift.

I love you so much... and count it pure blessing to walk this journey as your mama.

And girl, have I told you lately just how incredibly proud I am of you? #proudmama :) 

You are an extraordinarily special young lady. No doubt. God has gifted you in ways that astound me. His grace is wild... His love is extravagant. 

As an image-bearer of our Heavenly Father, may you continue to be Jesus' hands and feet... to proclaim good news to the poor, to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release prisoners from darkness, to comfort all who mourn. 

May you continue to be an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendour.

And may you know, with all your heart, that... you. are. His. beloved! 

 That... you. are. eternally. His!

Go now into the world and dream God-sized dreams, my baby girl... because He has already blazed the way for you!

And may this always, always, always be true of you...
May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. ~ Galatians 6:14
With all the love that your mama has for you...


Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.
Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!
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