Showing posts with label thinking: My Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thinking: My Thoughts. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

On Unexpected Ways God Answers Prayers...

After a long hiatus from writing, it took this #Esparaz2Europe trip to break the silence on this blog.

As I tap out these words on my iPad keyboard, we are speeding across The Channel Tunnel, a.k.a. The Chunnel, towards Paris. The Chunnel is considered one of the seven wonders of the modern world, the longest undersea tunnel on the globe.

My family and I just wrapped up three days of being tourists in London and two days cheering on my boy as he competed in the London Open 2017 Rubik's Cube speed-cubing competition.

In store for us in Paris are another four days of being tourists and four days of my boy competing in the 2017 World Rubik's Cube Championship.

My boy often says, "Speed-cubing is a privileged activity." I would agree with him 100% and I'm grateful that he recognizes this fact. Our privilege and wealth is certainly not lost on me, especially during this trip.

This is the first time, in many years, that we are not spending our summer vacation in a developing country visiting one of our Compassion sponsor children and immersing ourselves in their culture and way of life. These summer trips to the developing world have become a sacred form of pilgrimage for our family.

I thought twice about embarking on this trip to London and Paris.

Why? You might ask...

You see, I worried that my fickle heart would revert back into loving and craving these luxurious, self-pacifying vacations. I worried that our now beloved family tradition of summer pilgrimages to the developing world might somehow pale in comparison to this experience.

Yet, I recognize that God uses all our experiences for His glory, if only we let Him.



Before leaving home, I had a little chat with God. I asked Him to use this trip to continually open my eyes to the brokenness of this world, even in world-class cities like London and Paris.

We arrived in London last week late at night, after the long flight to Paris across the Atlantic and a lengthy delay with the Paris-London train.

When hubby googled how to take the "tube" to our hotel, he asked me: "Did you know that our hotel is right beside a mosque?" No, I didn't. We later find out that this mosque is one of the largest mosques in all of Europe!

We arrived at Whitechapel Station and proceeded to walk towards the hotel, luggages and backpacks in tow. We were definitely quite the sight... tourists! At the first stop light, while waiting to cross the street, a woman standing nearby proceeds to collapse to the ground... either drunk or high on drugs.

Upon arriving at our hotel, I spotted the mosque right away. I also noticed a facility across the street called Booth House, eerily similar in feel to Maxwell Meighen Centre back home. In fact, that entire walk from the tube station to the hotel felt eerily similar to walking along Sherbourne Street, where we do sandwich runs for the homeless back in Toronto.

With Google to the rescue again, I quickly learned that Booth House is one of the largest centres working with homeless men in London and is the largest Salvation Army centre in the entire country. I knew it, I was right about it feeling eerily similar to Maxwell Meighen Centre! 

Furthermore, Google said not to walk lengthy distances in this neighbourhood at night. Google can really scare the daylights out of you sometimes...

My mama-bear instincts kicked into high gear. In hindsight, I must confess that it was paranoia more than anything else. I hastily called a family meeting. I said: "We need to find another hotel. I don't care if we lose the money we already paid for this 6-night stay. This is not a safe neighbourhood with a homeless shelter across the street. And with the recent terror activities in London, the last place we want to be sleeping at is right beside a mosque!"

My rant was met with three bewildered stares and three logically wise minds. 

I really do thank Jesus for keeping my family's logic intact during my wildly illogical panicky moments. ;) 

They gently explained to me that the touristy places we will be visiting the next day are more of a target for terror attacks than the mosque itself. If we aren't avoiding the touristy areas, why should this be a problem? As for the homeless shelter, well... as I pointed out myself, it feels no different from Maxwell Meighen Centre back home... so why would it suddenly be scary, just because it's in London?

Gotta love my family! I quickly came to my senses and realized that I was acting like a paranoid woman.

Don't get me wrong. We did take precautions and found a better tube station to depart from/arrive at the hotel... and we took an Uber when we were returning late in the night.




I must confess that it took a while for me to fall asleep that first night. I lay awake and sensed God gently reminding me of my little chat asking Him to use this trip to continually open my eyes to the brokenness of this world, even in world-class cities like London and Paris.

Yes, that little chat! 

I had to chuckle upon realizing that this is God's way of answering my prayer. 

Really... what answer was I expecting after a prayer like that?!? 

What better way to keep my eyes open to see the brokenness of this world than a daily reminder, with each 5-minute walk from the hotel to the tube station and back, of the life that street-involved people live and of a community of people facing harsh discrimination these days.

... with each day of being tourists and seeing posh London in all of its royalty, riches and glory, then returning to the broken and battered neighbourhood where our hotel is situated.

... with each end-of-the-day walking past the open doors of the mosque and seeing evening prayers happen and being reminded of the imminent arrival of our church's second sponsored Syrian refugee family. In fact, I received a pre-arrival email notice from the Government of Canada just yesterday!

... with each day of trekking over to luxurious Canary Wharf where the speed-cubing competition venue was, then returning back to our hotel at night. I kid you not, when the light rail train pulled into Heron Quays Station, I said to my kids: "This feels a lot like arriving in The Capitol in the Hunger Games movie!"

Furthermore, my girl had the privilege and joy to share about Compassion's work with a local Filipino congregation in east-side London and, as a result, saw 12 Compassion kids released from poverty in Jesus' name.


My girl's speaking engagement was, in hindsight, another way God was answering my prayer during this trip. 

It was a reminder to me that, even during a time of vacation, God can and will continue to use us to be His hands and His feet, if only we let Him... to not only release Compassion children from poverty in Jesus' name, but also to release fellow first-world Christ-followers from the poverty of too much, in Jesus' name.

Needless to say, posh London is certainly a place where the poverty of too much is clearly evident.

It reminded me of this quote by Shane Claiborne:
When the worlds of poverty and wealth collide, the resulting powerful fusion can change the world.
On our last night in London, we casually stroll along Whitechapel Road to a local Punjabi restaurant for dinner late that night. I realized that this neighbourhood has grown on me over these last five days.

... and I quietly thanked God for taking our family on yet another summer pilgrimage, to a place where we least expected it.

He truly is a good, good Father. Perfect in all of His ways, to us.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Immeasurably More!

Hard year. Yes, that... it truly has been that.

In big and small ways. In expected and unexpected ways. In joy-filled and profoundly sad ways. 

In ways immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...

Yet, in all of these different ways, one thing remained sure and certain in this hard year... and that is God showing up in ways immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine!

In hindsight, I shouldn't have been surprised? After all, the One Word that God impressed upon my heart to focus on this year is: Brave.
When you are brave, you give yourself the gift of facing and touching the torn places. The places where we're torn to pieces can be thin places where we touch the peace of God." ~ Ann Voskamp, The Greatest Gift.
And all year, this has been my anthem: "You make me brave. You call me out beyond the shore into the waves. No fear can hinder now the promises You've made.

Through tears, both happy and sad ones, I've sung those words countless times.


And this is what I've come to realized: Through each hard thing, God's gifted us with this wild joy that surpasses all understanding.     

And the realization that these words are truer than ever before:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
And with these realizations came the tenacity and resolve to keep doing the hard things — the important things, the things that stand for Hope:
Because when we’re unbending in what is important — endings aren’t the thing that is important.

Because if we don’t always fiercely stand for Hope, regardless of risk, cost, or ending — we steal all future Hope.
Because if Hope isn’t worth it, no matter how it turns out — then it turns out, that nothing is actually worth it.

Because when we say that one life has worth — we’re saying that all lives have worth.
And a life that believes in the worth of all lives — is the only kind of life that’s really worth living.
~ Ann Voskamp, from this must-read blog post.
As we celebrate Christmas, it truly is with deep gratitude that I write this blog post and share our family's year-end newsletter which lists our Top Ten news and hightlights.

To read our family's year-end newsletter, please click here.

As we look to 2017, the words from Ephesians 3:14-21 form my prayer, not only for our family, but for all of you as well:
It is for this reason that I bow my knees before the Father, after whom all families in heaven above and on earth below receive their names, and pray:
Father, out of Your honorable and glorious riches, strengthen Your people. Fill their souls with the power of Your Spirit so that through faith the Anointed One will reside in their hearts. May love be the rich soil where their lives take root. May it be the bedrock where their lives are founded so that together with all of Your people they will have the power to understand that the love of the Anointed is infinitely long, wide, high, and deep, surpassing everything anyone previously experienced. God, may Your fullness flood through their entire beings.
Now to the God who can do so many awe-inspiring things, immeasurable things, things greater than we ever could ask or imagine through the power at work in us, to Him be all glory in the church and in Jesus the Anointed from this generation to the next, forever and ever. Amen.
From our family to yours, 
Merry Christmas & a joy-filled New Year!

Monday, August 22, 2016

On living a life of God-worship...

When I first became a mama, my greatest desire was to give my baby girl and her little brother the best that this world could offer.

Because I wanted the absolute best for them. Only the absolute best will do.


During the early years, hubby and I pursued this for our kids. Relentlessly and religiously pursued this. Because... only the best would do.

From babyGap clothes to StrideRite shoes. From Oxford Learning pre-school to Gymboree classes. From Disney vacations to Registered Education Savings Plans. 

You get the picture. We're stellar parents raising stellar children! Or so we thought...

We entertained thoughts of moving from our nice neighbourhood into an even nicer neighbourhood with better schools, better than the already pretty awesome public school that's within walking distance from our more than adequate home.

We sought to top last summer's vacation with an even awesomer one next time.

We strove for more income because only then can we provide our kids with the absolute best.

It was the pursuit of more. But... although we considered ourselves Christ-followers, we weren't living a life of God-worship.


I am grateful that God, in His infinite grace, found us early on in our parenting journey and removed the blinders from our eyes. He opened our hearts' eyes to see that the goal isn't to raise stellar human beings, but truly great children... ones whose lives exude Kingdom greatness and ones whose hearts break for the things that break God's. 

He impressed upon our hearts that the way to true greatness isn't via wanting what the world dictates is the absolute best for our children...

... because in giving of the world's best to our children, we are in fact giving them a whole lot of the detrimental gift of entitlement and afflicting them with affluence.
Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or —worse!— stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being. ~ Matthew 6:19-21, The Message.
We grappled with questions such as...
How is true greatness defined after all?
What do great kids look like?
How do we make sure we are raising our kids to be great?!?
The decision to live a life of God-worship wasn't easy, definitely counter-cultural... yet, I wouldn't trade it for anything! When confronted with research results such as the one I'm quoting below, I am especially grateful that God's grace confronted us very early on in our parenting journey:
In 2003, George Barna wrote in his research that a child's moral development is set by the age of nine. He wrote, "Habits related to the practice of one’s faith develop when one is young and change surprisingly little over time. The older a child gets, the more distracted and vulnerable he or she becomes to nonfamily influences."
Barna found that children who accepted Christ before their teen years are more likely to remain "absolutely committed" to Christianity. He stated, "It is during those pre-teen years that people develop their frames of reference for the remainder of their life." Source: Wikipedia.

Over the years, since our family started answering God with this wild nod of a yes to live a life of God-worship, it is changing many things.

In fact, it is changing everything.... from how we celebrate Christmas and birthdays, to how we view corporate worship; from how we buy clothing and food, to the decisions we make when buying bigger tickets items such as vehicles; from the way we save money for the future, to the way we give.

I have come to love this quote by C.S. Lewis...
I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc, is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditure excludes them. ~ C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity.
And also this quote by Joshua Becker...
Excessive consumption leads to bigger houses, faster cars, trendier clothes, fancier technology, and overfilled drawers. It promises happiness, but never delivers. Instead, it results in a desire for more… a desire which is promoted by the world around us. And it slowly begins robbing us of life. It redirects our God-given passions to things that can never fulfill. It consumes our limited resources. And it is time that we escape the vicious cycle. ~ Joshua Becker, 10 Reasons to Escape Excessive Consumerism.
Among other things, this decision to live a life of God-worship has changed the way we spend our vacation time... that's for sure!

This year is no different.

As I wrote in my previous blog post, we are headed to Haiti at summer's end

Tomorrow, we will fly into Port-Au-Prince... and this week, we will spend a couple of days with our two Haitian Compassion children.

As Jennie Allen so eloquently wrote in a guest post on Ann Voskamp's blog:
... something is happening — not a feeling or love of adventure or desire for glory but something within us that is from God, a call to more: to die — to live. My heart is bleeding and I can’t make it stop. So we are praying and willing and dreaming of living for heaven instead of the American dream, and it is changing everything. And I am strangely okay with that.
Yes, I am indeed strangely okay... strangely okay with this.







My baby boy, now a young man and almost a whole head taller than me, said to me the other day that he is grateful we chose to raise him and his sister in this way, to live a life of God-worship...

... because if not, he doesn't know if he would come to the point of choosing it for himself.  

Profoundly thought-provoking statement which made this mama's heart swell with joy! I am deeply grateful and deeply glad.

Just last week, my kids and I spent a few days soaking up the Inspire Hope Conference at Muskoka Bible Centre. Compassion Canada's President/CEO, Barry Slauenwhite, said this during one of his teaching sessions:
Children are either afflicted by poverty or afflicted by affluence.
Ah, yes! This statement is profoundly true. 

Being afflicted by affluence, the poverty of having too much, is what God saved both our children from when His grace found us during those early years of our parenting journey and I will forever be grateful.

Turns out, my kids did get what's absolutely best for them. The absolute best thing... lives exuding Kingdom greatness and hearts broken for the things that break God's. 

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on

I'll be honest... some days, this journey is hard. Many days, the struggle is real and the sacrifices tough to swallow.

Yet, I will not have it any other way. Because this abundant life in Christ is worth the hard days and the struggles and the sacrifices.

I would not exchange this deep gladness with anything else.

As we prepare to travel to Haiti for yet another one of our family's summer pilgrimages, these song lyrics have been constant in my heart and mind...
You live among the least of these | The weary and the weak | And it would be a tragedy | For me to turn away | All my needs You have supplied | When I was dead You gave me life | So how could I not give it away so freely?
And I'll | Follow You into the homes of the broken | Follow You into the world | Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God | Follow You into the world
Use my hands and use my feet | To make Your kingdom come | To the corners of the earth | Until Your work is done | Faith without works is dead | On the cross Your blood was shed | So how could we not give it away so freely?
And I give all myself | I give all myself | I give all myself to You
Have a listen to this beautiful song, friends...

Friday, March 25, 2016

Good Friday Reflections...

Since the New Year, blogging has definitely been relegated to the back burner as I stepped full-time into the role of Compassion Canada's Ministry Relations Representative for the Greater Toronto Area.

It's Good Friday today and I'm thinking that one way to reflect on this day and why it is called good is to blog my reflections.


It is called good because... "'Tis mercy all, immense and free; for, O my God, it found out me!"

Salvation, yes. But, in His most loving and extravagant way, our God doesn't stop there. He pursues. Relentlessly pursues. Wildly pursues. All because He wants that abundant life for us.

The other day I had an epiphany. I said to hubby, "I think I remember now the first time my heart broke for the things that break God's."

He and I just started dating. Exactly 25 years ago now. I was back in the Philippines for the summer and we found ourselves as part of a church visitation team. We were assigned to visit this man and his family. Because it was still the pre-Instagram days, I don't have a photo... but the image is still vivid in my mind.

I don't remember the man's name or even what he looks like, but I remember very vividly what his home looked like. Much like this one, our Compassion daughter Florianlyn's home.


Even though I grew up in the Philippines, up until that point in time, I've never been inside a "shanty" before. It broke me. I remember not being able to sleep well that night and feeling utterly broken the days that followed.

Then I came home to Canada.

And promptly forgot about that jarring experience.

My Heavenly Father... He was showing me that He's called His followers to so much more, that there's this abundant life to live, yet I chose the mediocre life --- content to have just my salvation.

I am deeply grateful that He is patient and didn't give up on hubby and me and our family.

Life took over and 15+ more years would pass before we were jolted out of living the mediocre life.

It has been a beautiful journey of discovering this abundant life that God calls each and every one of His followers to live.

It took travelling around the globe visiting our Compassion children for us to be wrecked and broken again and again and again.












Like a full-circle moment, even though I didn't realize it then... God brought me back to that place where, as a 20-year-old young woman, my heart first broke for the things that break His. 

It was back there in the broken places where our family together heeded the call to embrace the abundant life.

On this Good Friday, I am reminded yet again that God is still in the business of redeeming brokenness. This is why this day is called good.

Broken me, redeemed. You, too.

'Tis mercy all, immense and free; for, O my God, it found out me!


On that cross, Jesus said, "It is finished." 

I am deeply grateful that, on that cross, Jesus already redeemed everything. All He asks us, His followers, to do is to live it out... to live each and every day as redeemed people, as People of the Cross.

To live the life of true fasting...
... if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
This abundant life... it's not an easy one to live. In fact, it's excruciatingly hard... with heartache, tears and lament. Sometimes, I just want to go back to that time when I didn't know better...

But, I don't... and I soldier on. Because we all only have this one life to live and it would be a shame to choose comfort and to coast through it with mediocrity. 



May this be our prayer, not just on this Good Friday, but always:
God, we thank You for being near in a world filled with selfish ambition, where too often our tendency is to turn inward and contemplate our own desires despite the suffering that surrounds us. We live surrounded by a wealth that defies the imagination of our poorer brothers and sisters, yet we live with the fear that we will never have enough. Expand our hearts, Lord, that we may learn to truly love.

May we put our hand to the plow and work as those who have a higher calling. In the days that come, Lord, reveal to us new patterns of living where our spiritual lives and work lives become an integrated whole. May all that we do be worship to You.
We acknowledge that out of the ashes of our lives You are bringing shalom. We believe You are calling us to be a part of Your shalom work in our own cities and across the globe. We ask You to lead us and guide us. We are called to be Your hands and feet. As representatives of Christ we believe we should carry Your message of love and grace into the dark places You came to restore, the places where disease and illness plague people. Lord, do not allow us to seek safe havens, to hide the news of Your gospel; instead, call us out so that Your Good News will be evident to all.
- Chris Seay, A Place at the Table.

Friday, September 4, 2015

As Summer Draws To A Close...

This boy's birthday always signals the end of summer for us. Born on the evening of Labour Day fifteen years ago, we always celebrate his birthday on this long weekend before the start of school.

This year, it's no different. Tonight, we will celebrate at his favourite restaurant --- one we head to just once a year on this very special occasion.





Yet, somehow the end-of-summer this year feels different than previous ones.

I'm not sure if it's because this girl is off to university and classes started yesterday, before the Labour Day long weekend... or if it's something else.





Sadly, I do think it's something else. My heart seems heavy as this summer draws to a close.

It's been an eventful summer... both in our family's life and in world news.

This summer brought us to Guatemala where we came face-to-face with our Compassion daughter, Esperanza whose story unfolded not quite the way we expected

We came face-to-face with young girls who have been forced into child labour or experienced physical and/or sexual abuse whose lives are being restored at Oasis Girls' Home.

We stood stunned, speechless, frozen... gazing at the scene in front of us, with a multitude of vultures circling above our heads. A scene so surreal it was as if it was playing on a TV screen... right in front of us is a massive pit known as the Guatemala City Dump with many, many, many people, including children, working and scavenging and l-i-v-i-n-g in it.

One month after returning from Guatemala, the scene still haunts me today. The only thing that is a balm to my heart is knowing that God is at work in that place through the ministry of Compassion International.






Our world is broken, very broken.

We come home to atrocious news of leaked videos about body organs from babies being sold, to shocking news of leaked data from an infidelity site, its main office located right here in our city, that proves Christians not being immune to it.

We are faced with a sudden and unexpected possible change in our family routine when God calls us to that oh-so-familiar outside-our-comfort-zone place where He seems to always call for our obedience, our yes!

We receive news of childhood friends dying, both mine and hubby's... gone to soon, way too young.



Our world is broken, very broken.

We are inundated with election news, with reports of a global financial crisis, and with trivial social media posts on one's political stance when in other news, there's this report of ISIS enshrining a theology of rape, a news article that had me in an ugly cry before I even finished reading the first paragraph.

We were inundated with social media posts of people up in arms about a dead lion when in other news, there's a dead baby who has washed ashore in Turkey because the world has ignored the worst refugee crisis we've seen since World War II. We knew the name of the lion faster than we found out what that sweet little boy's name is. His name is Aylan Kurdi. 

No wonder my heart seems heavy as this summer draws to a close.

It just wants to scream, "Lord Jesus, have mercy! Lord Jesus, heal our land."
... if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. ~ 2 Chronicles 7:14.
It just wants to pray this prayer of confession...



But as this summer comes to a close...
My heart, though heavy, still dares to hope --- "Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. (Lamentations 3:21-23)"

His faithful love is evident when, on her very first day as an International Development Studies student at the University of Toronto, my girl pens this letter to little Aylan Kurdi, even before we found out what his name is... and I am one proud mama, proud of this young lady and of her brave and bold words.
Dear Nameless Boy -
Oh, I squirm while saying this to you - we've been living mindless lives instead of loving you until you're simply able to live.
We've filled churches on Sundays while you and your people filled boats and sailed straight to death - and are we really being the Church or just filling steepled buildings hollow?
Because we're full of empty good intentions and real-sounding excuses when we should be full of the love of Christ. 
And sweet boy, this is my apology, this is my outcry, but mostly this is my confession.
His mercies are evident when, on this his fifteen birthday, my boy is choosing to make a birthday donation to help little boys just like Aylan Kurdi who, together with their families, are currently seeking refuge in refugee camps and to make a similar donation to help our sister church with the sponsorship of a refugee family so that they can come live in Canada... and I am one proud mama, proud of this young man and of his heart of gold, one that beats in sync with God's.

No wonder my heavy heart still dares to hope as this summer draws to a close.

Because these two, my Generation Z children, though growing up in a very broken world... like many of their peers, have hearts of gold and have their eyes set on making this world a better place. 


So yes, a big resounding yes... as this summer draws to a close, this mama's heart smiles big and it still dares to hope. 

Because...
... love will run on.
And we could be like a river of that living water.
We could widen and deepen, we could course our way through hard things and plow fresh new ways.
And our perspective could reflect a Kingdom, our lives could be a refuge and our choices could be a courage that goes against the current.
You can feel it in the air these days:
Something beautiful is rising.
~ Ann Voskamp.

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.
Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

That Wild Joy

It has been a whirlwind month and a bit since our family said "Yes! Here I am... Lord, send me..." to an opportunity to serve the least of these, one that is absolutely outside my comfort zone.

This quote by Kristen Welch has been an invaluable encouragement...
Our yes to God should scare us.
Not to keep us immobile, but to keep us dependent on the One who asks us to say it in the first place.
Fear keeps us moving towards God.
Yes, there is fear in obedience. But peace keeps us on the journey.
And the joy that follows our yes to God is wild.
And, throughout this month I have indeed experienced that wild joy!

I am currently sitting in the hospital's surgery waiting room as I tap out this blog post. After waiting for almost a month, little Ochro is finally getting his open heart surgery today. It will be a long five to eight hours of intense waiting but we are trusting our Heavenly Father to bring Ochro through this surgery safely and successfully.

A photo posted by alyssa (@_godsgal4ever) on

As I sit here and wait beside his beautiful mama, as she takes a nap in preparation for a long night ahead... I am totally in awe of just how beautifully brave she is.

And this is why I am writing today. 

Because...
This beautiful new friend of mine has taught me a few things about being brave and about having faith and about choosing gratefulness. 

And... this beautiful new friend of mine is the reason for a big portion of that wild joy that followed our yes to God.

Little Ochro, his mama and my girl!

You see, when our family first said yes to this opportunity, never in my wildest dream did I expect that, at the end of this journey, not only would little Ochro go back home to Mongolia with a new heart but that his mama would, too!

This is the wildest joy... because Jesus became real to this beautiful new friend of mine, this very brave mama, right here in Canada, thousands of miles away from the comforts of her own home, a traditional Mongolian ger, in the middle of the Gobi Desert in Mongolia.

Right here --- after she had the opportunity to watch the Jesus Film in her native language.

Right here --- where a Christ-following interpreter, a volunteer with Samaritan's Purse Children's Heart Project, invested in her and patiently answered her many questions.

Right here --- while being in community with Christ-followers who are being Jesus' hands and feet to her.

A brand-new heart... for my beautiful friend. Such wild joy. Such amazing grace.
Therefore, if anyone is united with the Anointed One, that person is a new creation. The old life is gone — and see — a new life has begun! ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17, The Voice.
I have literally witnessed this mama's transformation... from full of anxiety, to full of joy. This is what our Jesus can do and is still doing today, friends! 

Just. So. Beautifully. Amazing.

To top it off, we will have the immense joy of seeing her baptised before she heads back home to Mongolia! 

But as beautiful as this story already is, I can't hit the publish button until I tell you what my new friend has taught me in this short time that I've known her.

She's taught me what it means to be a brave mama...
This is a woman who calls the Gobi Desert home, who herds animals as a livelihood, who lives a nomadic lifestyle. 

At first, she couldn't fathom getting on an airplane, not to mention flying halfway across the world to a strange and foreign land where she doesn't speak nor understand the language. At first, she didn't want to come. At first, she wanted to send her son here with a relative. 

Yet, she finally chose to be brave, to step out of her comfort zone... so that her son could have a new lease on life. This is what brave mamas do.


She's also taught me what it means to rely on faith...
In this First World which we call home, we rarely find ourselves in situations where having faith is all we have to rely on. Our overly educated brains are always one step ahead of us. If not, Google always has an answer to our questions. It is not so for my friend. 

While I frantically google information so I can read about this particular open heart surgery for tetralogy of fallot, she just simply trusts that the surgeon will do his best job. 

While I queried the ER doctor over and over about little Ochro's recurring blue spells (also known as tet spells) which were becoming intense last week before today's surgery and about the risks of stopping all of his medications, she just simply trusts that he is getting the best care there is.

As our pastor was saying a prayer over little Ochro and my mind wandered in a few different directions thinking about the surgery risks, I look over and saw her simply trusting and fervently praying along. This is what simple faith looks like.

Little Ochro is not camera-shy at all. Here, he is having fun with CityNews camera man, Steve Boorne,
as he filmed segments on behalf of The Herbie Fund.

Lastly, she's also taught me what it means to choose gratefulness...
As little Ochro's original surgery date got cancelled and subsequently kept being delayed, days turned into weeks. I became increasingly impatient with each passing day and my first-world attitude of entitlement started to rear its ugly head. 

My friend, on the other hand, waited gracefully and patiently, and regarded all the medical care that little Ochro is and will be getting as pure gift. 

She exudes gratefulness... despite being away from home for almost two months now and will be here for yet another month because of the delay, despite being able to talk to her husband only once during these two months because their home in the Gobi Desert is not reachable via telecommunications, despite being terribly homesick. This is what choosing gratefulness looks like.


After just four hours in the operating room instead of the estimated five to eight hours, little Ochro is now safely out of surgery and his heart repair is a success. Thank you, Jesus! Please continue to pray for him, friends... that his recovery will be swift and smooth so that they can return to their family soon.

As much as we would love to visit Mongolia one day, the reality is that we may never see each other again in this lifetime after our friends return home to Mongolia, but I will always remember this beautiful new friend of mine and the joy that she's brought into our family's life and the valuable things that I've learned from her. 

And little Ochro will definitely forever have a special place in my heart. I so love this little man... he gives the tightest, most endearing hugs! And I can always lay claim to the fact that I taught him how to take his very first selfies! ;)


And it is wild joy knowing that there will be a day when we will all be worshipping God together again in the same place on the other side of eternity!

Oh, yes! --- Yeses to God can absolutely be scary, but the joy that follows is truly wild. I am so glad our family said, "Yes! Here I am... Lord, send me..."


Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.
Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!