Wednesday, January 16, 2013

When I Feel Like A Failure

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea that something was going to hit me like a ton of bricks by noon time, an interruption to my day... something that would make me feel like a failure of a mother!

It came in the form of a confession from one of my children of a wrongdoing... a major one... something that had happened right under my nose... something that broke my heart... that left me in a puddle of tears... and left me feeling like I failed, miserably failed!

As hubby and I sorted out this mess... and tried to stay positive... at first, my shock turned to anger, then to fear, then to disappointment, then to sadness, then to despair. Yet throughout the day, through my counting of grace-gifts, I kept being reminded that God is still on the throne, that He is always good and that we are always loved.

Then I read Ann Voskamp's blog post... although it was published earlier this morning, I only read it tonight as I was hardly online today due to this unexpected and unwanted interruption. As I sat down in front of my computer screen, these are the words that stared back at me:
... the most freeing place for a soul is in the abandonment to the will of God.
I want Christ. I want this mark. Christ’s people want nothing less than this.
The slaves to Christ bear the three marks:
1. their eyes see Christ in all faces
2. their lips say yes to Christ in all places
3. and their arms embrace interruptions as Christ’s directions — and all is grace. 
Ah, to surrender to God's will and to see Christ in all faces and to say "yes!" to Christ in all places and to embrace interruptions as Christ's directions - yes, all is grace. Although the interruption today was one that was very hard to embrace... yet still, because of the habit of counting grace-gifts, I can now say, all is grace! Indeed... all is grace, all *is always* grace!

And, tomorrow is a new day... a brand-new day, a second chance at this thing called motherhood... I am thankful, so thankful, for His mercies which are always new every morning! And I will sing...
The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find
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I promise you will be blessed!

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.
Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!

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