2017 In Review {our family's year-end newsletter...}

We believe in Christmas... 

One merely has to scroll through social media or watch TV or glance at the headlines blaring from the newspaper stands to know that our world is becoming an increasingly dark place. Wars, natural disasters, political unrest, injustice, poverty, deep fissures in faith communities, racial tensions, gender-based violence... and the list goes on and on.

These were the realities of 2017.

As Christ-followers, more so than ever, we urgently need to be "a wick to light hope in the dark."

You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father. - Matthew 5:14-16, NLT.

As Ann Voskamp writes in The Greatest Gift, "When you are a wick to light hope in the dark, then you believe in Christmas. When you really believe in Christmas, you believe there is really hope for everyone."

In our own small way, our family desires to be this Jesus-light to our dark world. 

2017 highlights {the top 10, in no particular order}:

1. This year, we saw a couple of our Compassion kids leave the program because their parents are in better positions to support the families. As a result, we've welcomed two new kids to replace them: Taeng-Mo from Thailand and Justine from the Philippines (who is Alyssa's sponsor child). We've also added three children to our Compassion family: Hannah, Krevin and Jethro, who are all from the same Compassion implementing church partner located in my dad's hometown in the Philippines!

2. In the summer, Jon's speed-cubing "career" brought us all the way to London, England and Paris, France! What a treat! Our trip was well documented on Instagram under the hashtag #Esparaz2Europe!

3. Speaking of speed-cubing, Jon achieved two pretty amazing personal best solves this year: a 5.52-second solve of the 3x3 cube, which ranks him at 24th in the world and a 22.40-second solve of the 4x4 cube, which ranks 8th in the world!!!

4. Jon turned 17 this year... just where does the time go?!? He is currently buried deep in university and scholarship applications. He is hoping to go into either engineering or statistics.

5. During the latter half of the summer, we welcomed our church's 2nd Syrian newcomer family to Toronto! It has been such a gift to lead our church's refugee sponsorship committee and to walk alongside this precious family as they navigate the complexities of resettlement to a new country.

6. Alyssa is half-way through her 3rd year of International Development Studies at the University of Toronto. She is currently exploring placement opportunities as she will be embarking on an 8-12 month placement in a developing country next year.

7. In addition to being a full-time student, Alyssa manages to work part-time as Compassion Canada's Advocacy Associate. This year, she worked on the Eyes To See project which was released in September. She is also co-chair of the International Development Conference at her school. As if that's not already a full schedule, she also managed to do 25 speaking engagements over the course of this year!

8. Alyssa turns 21 in the New Year... just where does the time go?!? To celebrate this milestone birthday, she has set this audacious, bold and BIG goal—to see 21 Compassion children connected with sponsors! Family and friends, will you sponsor one of these children? Also, I'm going to be missing Alyssa's birthday this year—first time ever that I'll be missing her birthday—because I will be co-leading a Compassion Canada Pastors' Vision Trip to Nicaragua in February. So, if you choose a child from Nicaragua to sponsor, I'll be more than happy to bring them a gift from YOU! So... what are you waiting for? Click here now and help Alyssa meet her audacious, bold and BIG 21st birthday goal!!!

9. Speaking of Compassion, our family is celebrating 1150 Compassion children connected with loving sponsors here in the Greater Toronto Area in 2017 through various events and church services! We are deeply grateful for the dedicated and committed volunteers who so faithfully serve with us to grow Compassion's ministry here in the GTA. We are truly overwhelmed and incredibly humbled… we truly serve a good, good Father.

10. After more than a year of looking, researching and shopping, Floyd finally found the perfect one—a new-to-us Subaru Forester to replace our 14-year-old family van which gifted us with 307,000+ kilometres of memories starting from when Jon was only 3 years old!

As we look towards 2018, our family will seek to continue lighting this dark world and the unexpected places with a brave flame of joy; warming the cold, hopeless places with the daring joy that God is with us, God is for us, God is in us.  

Because we believe in Christmas.

From our family to yours... 
Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

With much love + gratitude,

The Esparaz Family:

Floyd, Aimee, Alyssa and Jon

Immeasurably More!

Hard year. Yes, that... it truly has been that.

In big and small ways. In expected and unexpected ways. In joy-filled and profoundly sad ways. 

In ways immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...

Yet, in all of these different ways, one thing remained sure and certain in this hard year... and that is God showing up in ways immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine!

In hindsight, I shouldn't have been surprised? After all, the One Word that God impressed upon my heart to focus on this year is: Brave.

When you are brave, you give yourself the gift of facing and touching the torn places. The places where we're torn to pieces can be thin places where we touch the peace of God." ~ Ann Voskamp, The Greatest Gift.

And all year, this has been my anthem: "You make me brave. You call me out beyond the shore into the waves. No fear can hinder now the promises You've made." 

Through tears, both happy and sad ones, I've sung those words countless times.

And this is what I've come to realized: Through each hard thing, God's gifted us with this wild joy that surpasses all understanding.     

And the realization that these words are truer than ever before:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

And with these realizations came the tenacity and resolve to keep doing the hard things — the important things, the things that stand for Hope:

Because when we’re unbending in what is important — endings aren’t the thing that is important.

Because if we don’t always fiercely stand for Hope, regardless of risk, cost, or ending — we steal all future Hope.

Because if Hope isn’t worth it, no matter how it turns out — then it turns out, that nothing is actually worth it.

Because when we say that one life has worth — we’re saying that all lives have worth.

And a life that believes in the worth of all lives — is the only kind of life that’s really worth living.

~ Ann Voskamp, from this must-read blog post.

As we celebrate Christmas, it truly is with deep gratitude that I write this blog post and share our family's year-end newsletter which lists our Top Ten news and hightlights.

To read our family's year-end newsletter, please click here.

As we look to 2017, the words from Ephesians 3:14-21 form my prayer, not only for our family, but for all of you as well:

It is for this reason that I bow my knees before the Father, after whom all families in heaven above and on earth below receive their names, and pray:

Father, out of Your honorable and glorious riches, strengthen Your people. Fill their souls with the power of Your Spirit so that through faith the Anointed One will reside in their hearts. May love be the rich soil where their lives take root. May it be the bedrock where their lives are founded so that together with all of Your people they will have the power to understand that the love of the Anointed is infinitely long, wide, high, and deep, surpassing everything anyone previously experienced. God, may Your fullness flood through their entire beings.

Now to the God who can do so many awe-inspiring things, immeasurable things, things greater than we ever could ask or imagine through the power at work in us, to Him be all glory in the church and in Jesus the Anointed from this generation to the next, forever and ever. Amen.

From our family to yours, 

Merry Christmas & a joy-filled New Year!

Merry Christmas... this weary world rejoices!

This Christmas, more than ever... I am seeing everywhere and feeling in me the lyrics of this beautiful Christmas song O Holy Night --- "A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices..."

This photo blog illustrating the Christmas story is resonating with me more than ever. Haunting. Poignant. True.

Friends, our world is weary and broken. There are wars. People are displaced and oppressed. Extreme poverty is still a reality. Children starve. Mothers cry. Fathers are absent.

This Advent, more than ever... I am understanding its meaning in the truest sense as our family, alongside our church family, await the imminent arrival of our two sponsored Syrian refugee families. Each additional day we are required to wait is another day they endure living in a refugee camp somewhere in Lebanon...


Yet, this... this is why I still dare to hope.

Gaining hope, I remember and wait for this thought:

How enduring is God’s loyal love; the Eternal has inexhaustible compassion.

Here they are, every morning, new! Your faithfulness, God, is as broad as the day.

Have courage, for the Eternal is all that I will need. My soul boasts, “Hope in God; just wait.”

It is good. The Eternal One is good to those who expect Him, to those who seek Him wholeheartedly.

It is good to wait quietly for the Eternal to make things right again.

- Lamentations 3:21-26, The Voice.

O Holy Night goes on with these lyrics...

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

:: :: :: 

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we;
Let all within us praise His holy name.

And so we sing sweet hymns of joy, because our Jesus, He shines --- "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it. (John 1:5, NLT)"

And we continue to find ways to be His hands and His feet in this broken and weary world.

How shall I come before Yahweh, and bow myself before the exalted God?

Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old?

Will Yahweh be pleased with thousands of rams? With tens of thousands of rivers of oil?

Shall I give my first-born for my disobedience? The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

He has shown you, O man, what is good. What does Yahweh require of you, but to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?

- Micah 6:6-8, World English Bible (emphasis mine).

Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year from our family to yours! {Our year-end family update can be found here.}

May you sense God's peace and His love, more than ever, this Christmas and throughout this coming New Year.

Click here to read our Christmas letter.

Friends, will you sing this beautiful Christmas carol with us?
O holy night! The stars are brightly shining; it is the night of the dear Saviour's birth!
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we; let all within us praise His holy name.

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.

Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!

Our Response to the Syrian Refugee Crisis... for such a time as this!

We all saw it... that heart-wrenching photo of little Aylan Kurdi's body washing up on that Turkish beach.

It was a lazy summer evening in early September and our whole family was sitting around watching late-night television. Hubby is a self-proclaimed news junkie so he was characteristically scrolling through the news on his hand-held tablet as we all watched a show together.

I will never forget the look on his face as he handed me his hand-held device and said, "You'll want to read this." It was this CNN article. I read the first couple sentences and was instantly undone...

The 3-year-old lies face down, his head to one side with his bottom slightly up -- the way toddlers like to sleep.

But the water is lapping around his face and his body is lifeless. (Source: CNN)

I am quite embarrassed to admit that, until that night, I was oblivious to the Syrian refugee crisis that was ballooning out of control. 

The next few days, my eyes were glued to the news and to my social media feeds. The world, it seems, just like myself... got jolted out of its obliviousness. 

I will forever be grateful for people like my friend, Ann Voskamp, who chose to use her powerful online presence to speak out for Syrian refugees. Within a few hours, she had set-up a Facebook page called Aylan's Dreams which ballooned into this movement called We Welcome Refugees, in partnership with organizations like World Relief and The Justice Conference among others.

That very night, my girl penned a letter to little Aylan even before we knew his name. Dear Nameless Boy, she writes... 

We've filled churches on Sundays while you and your people filled boats and sailed straight to death - and are we really being the Church or just filling steepled buildings hollow?

Because we're full of empty good intentions and real-sounding excuses when we should be full of the love of Christ.

And sweet boy, this is my apology, this is my outcry, but mostly this is my confession. 

I woke up to her words the next morning and they pierced the very depths of my heart.

Later that day, Ann Voskamp pens her own letter to little Aylan and links to my girl's letter at the end of her own.

Now, NOW, is the time for the Church to be the Church. We cannot, cannot, afford to miss this opportunity — and miss Him.

In the past, the Church may have been defined by what the Church is against, but, in this defining moment in history, may the Church be clearly defined by what it is for.

And the Church has always been for the stranger, the sojourner, and for being like the welcoming arms of the Saviour.

How can we not move heaven and earth to let the broken in — when heaven moved and came to earth to let us in?

Sunday came and my heart was still heavy. My girl's words rang clear in my mind, but mostly in my heart: "Because we're full of empty good intentions and real-sounding excuses when we should be full of the love of Christ." 

I knew then that God was asking our family to act, to do something... for such a time as this.

A quick chat with our Lead Pastor revealed that there were at least a handful of people in our church family ready to act, ready to do something. Without knowing what that something is, I told him, "Yes, I am willing to head up this initiative... whatever it might be."

That YES started a whirlwind week of fact-finding which resulted in our church community committing to sponsoring two refugee families from Syria via Mennonite Central Committee.

From this Toronto Star article.

I wasn't prepared for the outpouring of support... 

What started as an interest from just a handful of people resulted in an outpouring of support that I have never experienced or seen before! It has been so heart-warming to see God working beautifully in people's hearts.

Steve, a brother from our church family, shared his own family's refugee journey and many hearts were moved to respond. My girl consequently writes a second letter to little Aylan... in it she writes about just how blessed we are to have a church family whose response to this refugee crisis has been more than what we have asked for or even imagined!

This is community.

This is how we come together as the Body of Christ to respond to the worst refugee crisis since World War II.

We're smack in the middle of history and when it's all said and done we want to be remembered as the generation who welcomed the strangers as if they were Christ himself, running into Egypt, fleeing Herod's slaughter as a refugee.  

Friends, this week Mennonite Central Committee tallied all the donations that have come in for our fundraising registry and seeing the total dollars raised literally moved me to tears --- $68,190!!! This is evidence of God beautifully at work in people's hearts. Only God...

I am deeply grateful... and deeply humbled.

Now that the hard work of raising funds is over, the even harder work of preparing and waiting starts. I am deeply grateful for the privilege of leading an amazing committee of people that God has called together for this very purpose, for such a time as this.

I saw this Instagram photo by Bianca Juarez Olthoff today and it drove home for me the significance of what our church family has committed to doing --- that is to bring these two families into the safety embrace of our country and our community, a safe place that we so often take for granted or don't even think about. As the caption on this Instagram photo so eloquently puts it, "It was nothing to me, but everything to her."

"No mother puts her children in the sea unless the sea is safer than the land." -#SyrianRefugee I'm leaving Greece completely undone for the men, women, and children fleeing #Syria for their lives. Last night while passing out jackets in the cold, a mother leaned over the fence and called out over and over for jackets for her children. @tonysebastian1 told her repeatedly to form a line but she refused to move shouting louder and louder for what must have been her desire for jackets. I motioned repeatedly for her to get in line, but she didn't move. She wouldn't move. She refused to move. We didn't speak the same language but we were probably the same age. She has two kids, I have two kids. She was leaving her home, I am going home. When you're desperate, you do desperate things. Undone with her begging, I handed her two jackets and smiled. It was nothing to me, but everything to her. Her new life begins with her pleading still echoing in my mind. May I be a mother who fights for freedom in a way that she fought to be heard.

A photo posted by Bianca Juarez Olthoff (@biancaolthoff) on Oct 30, 2015 at 8:15am PDT

As we wait and prepare, please pray with us... for these two precious families that have been matched to us as they wait for all the requirements to be completed for them to be travel-ready. Please also pray for our committee members as we start to plan and prepare, that we will keep these words in mind:

Place your trust in the Eternal; rely on Him completely; never depend upon your own ideas and inventions. Give Him the credit for everything you accomplish, and He will smooth out and straighten the road that lies ahead. (Proverbs 3:5-6, The Voice)

For such a time as this... #WeWelcomeRefugees.


Related Reading: 
Richmond Hill church helping to welcome two refugee families, published in MetrolandMedia's YorkRegion.com, November 27, 2015.

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.

Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!

The Road to our Esperanza...

In just a little while our family will be setting foot on a land of majestic volcanoes, lush rainforests and ancient Mayan ruins. And... we are most excited to soon be face-to-face with our Compassion daughter, Esperanza. 

Esperanza whom we didn't choose. Esperanza, whose name means hope, whom God chose for us! 

Yes, we are headed to Guatemala!

Guatemala... where we thought we would go last summer until God changed all our summer plans and sent us back to the Philippines instead, where our hearts woke up and broke afresh for those things that break God's.

Guatemala... the first destination we are headed to, as a family, where we know no one and where we do not speak the language. 

Ah, yes... that oh-so-familiar outside-our-comfort-zone place where God somehow seems to always call for our obedience, our yes!

That yes that always leads to this wildest joy.

Since our family started answering God with this wild nod of a yes over these past few years, it is changing everything. Among other things, it has changed the way we spend our vacation time... that's for sure! 

As Jennie Allen so eloquently wrote in a guest post on Ann Voskamp's blog today, "... something is happening — not a feeling or love of adventure or desire for glory but something within us that is from God, a call to more: to die — to live. My heart is bleeding and I can’t make it stop. So we are praying and willing and dreaming of living for heaven instead of the American dream, and it is changing everything. And I am strangely okay with that."

Yes, I am indeed strangely okay... strangely okay.

Our family vacations have turned into a pilgrimage of sorts over the years. I wouldn't have chosen to use that word myself — pilgrimage — nor did I know how to adequately describe our transformation, until I read this blog post on Compassion International's blog recently.

It was only after reading that blog post did I realize that God has been transforming the way we spend our vacation time in order to disciple us and grow us into the people He created us to be.

When your desire is to see, to know, to touch, to understand — with an openness of mind and heart — that is a pilgrimage. And like all pilgrimages, you cannot remain the same at the end of such a journey. Pilgrimages lead you to reflect on your own identity and purpose.

A pilgrimage leads to changed and restored relationships. It’s a result of not visiting the poor, but visiting with the poor.

Visiting with the poor becomes another expression of the love of God and of community. And this idea is deeply ingrained in God’s desire and gift for wholeness.

It’s a mutual embrace of life as it can be.

- From this Compassion International blog post.

Today, I was at my hairdresser's place for a haircut. As we chatted about life, she shared some of her family's current struggles. She, being originally from the Philippines, knows poverty first hand. She said something to me that I think is oh-so-profound.

She said, "When one has never seen how poor people's daily lives look like, one can quickly become self-absorbed."

Yes, this is so. profoundly. true.

And something clicked in my mind. 

It is why this pilgrimage of sorts has become an important part of our family's summer. It is to keep us in touch with the poor, so that we can mutually embrace each other's life.

Mind you, we don't head to an international destination every summer. Some summers we've spent right here at home or near home, yet they have been pilgrimages just the same — sandwich runs for the homeless, painting homes in government housing communities, delivering snacks to inner-city summer camps, spending a few vacation days in an inner-city neighbourhood.

These summer pilgrimages have shown us esperanza, hope. It has shown us "... a mutual embrace of life as it can be." 

It is a truly beautiful, sacred thing.

We are beyond excited to hop on that plane. I have a feeling that Guatemala will take a hold of our hearts in a very special way.

We will meet our Esperanza and we will witness esperanza... hope. 

In addition, we will also be visiting El Oasis Girls' Home, a Kids Alive International ministry.

The Oasis in Guatemala is an amazing ministry that comes alongside girls who have been abandoned or abused. Most were forced into child labour, experienced physical and sexual abuse, and, unfortunately, all too often all three.

At The Oasis, they come to live in a safe environment of family units with Guatemalan house-parents and begin the process of restoring hope. The girls attend school (many for the first time) and have access to therapy to heal emotional scars. Central to their restoration of hope is the knowledge that they are loved, protected, and they are introduced to Jesus who can provide the true healing that they need.

Since my girl started Freedom Creations a couple years ago with the hope of making an impact in the fight against modern-day slavery and oppression, and have since donated over $2,000 to International Justice Mission Canada, we have always had the desire to personally visit such a ministry.

And God has, literally at the very last minute, arranged for us to do just that! Check out this video to learn more about the ministry of El Oasis Girls' Home:

I am excited, actually beyond excited. Yet, to be honest... I am, at the same time, scared of the many unknowns and of how our hearts will be broken afresh.

But I am keeping my eyes on Jesus because He is our blessed esperanza and because broken is the most blessed you can be... and I am looking forward to that wild joy that will follow this yes!

Where will this summer be taking you, friend...? 

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.

Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!

That Wild Joy

It has been a whirlwind month and a bit since our family said "Yes! Here I am... Lord, send me..." to an opportunity to serve the least of these, one that is absolutely outside my comfort zone.

This quote by Kristen Welch has been an invaluable encouragement...

Our yes to God should scare us.
Not to keep us immobile, but to keep us dependent on the One who asks us to say it in the first place.
Fear keeps us moving towards God.
Yes, there is fear in obedience. But peace keeps us on the journey.
And the joy that follows our yes to God is wild.

And, throughout this month I have indeed experienced that wild joy!

I am currently sitting in the hospital's surgery waiting room as I tap out this blog post. After waiting for almost a month, little Ochro is finally getting his open heart surgery today. It will be a long five to eight hours of intense waiting but we are trusting our Heavenly Father to bring Ochro through this surgery safely and successfully.

just coming up on hour #4 of ochro's 5-8 hour open-heart surgery... thanks for continued prayers everyone!

A photo posted by alyssa (@_godsgal4ever) on Apr 21, 2015 at 8:03am PDT

As I sit here and wait beside his beautiful mama, as she takes a nap in preparation for a long night ahead... I am totally in awe of just how beautifully brave she is.

And this is why I am writing today. 

Because...

This beautiful new friend of mine has taught me a few things about being brave and about having faith and about choosing gratefulness. 

And... this beautiful new friend of mine is the reason for a big portion of that wild joy that followed our yes to God.

Little Ochro, his mama and my girl!

You see, when our family first said yes to this opportunity, never in my wildest dream did I expect that, at the end of this journey, not only would little Ochro go back home to Mongolia with a new heart but that his mama would, too!

This is the wildest joy... because Jesus became real to this beautiful new friend of mine, this very brave mama, right here in Canada, thousands of miles away from the comforts of her own home, a traditional Mongolian ger, in the middle of the Gobi Desert in Mongolia.

Right here --- after she had the opportunity to watch the Jesus Film in her native language.

Right here --- where a Christ-following interpreter, a volunteer with Samaritan's Purse Children's Heart Project, invested in her and patiently answered her many questions.

Right here --- while being in community with Christ-followers who are being Jesus' hands and feet to her.

A brand-new heart... for my beautiful friend. Such wild joy. Such amazing grace.

Therefore, if anyone is united with the Anointed One, that person is a new creation. The old life is gone — and see — a new life has begun! ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17, The Voice.

I have literally witnessed this mama's transformation... from full of anxiety, to full of joy. This is what our Jesus can do and is still doing today, friends! 

Just. So. Beautifully. Amazing.

To top it off, we will have the immense joy of seeing her baptised before she heads back home to Mongolia! 

But as beautiful as this story already is, I can't hit the publish button until I tell you what my new friend has taught me in this short time that I've known her.

She's taught me what it means to be a brave mama...

This is a woman who calls the Gobi Desert home, who herds animals as a livelihood, who lives a nomadic lifestyle. 

At first, she couldn't fathom getting on an airplane, not to mention flying halfway across the world to a strange and foreign land where she doesn't speak nor understand the language. At first, she didn't want to come. At first, she wanted to send her son here with a relative. 

Yet, she finally chose to be brave, to step out of her comfort zone... so that her son could have a new lease on life. This is what brave mamas do.

Please continue to pray for this little man. His open heart surgery started at 8am this morning and is expected to be 5-6 hours long. #SamaritansPurse #ChildrensHeartProject #Mongolia #1000gifts

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on Apr 21, 2015 at 5:48am PDT

She's also taught me what it means to rely on faith...

In this First World which we call home, we rarely find ourselves in situations where having faith is all we have to rely on. Our overly educated brains are always one step ahead of us. If not, Google always has an answer to our questions. It is not so for my friend. 

While I frantically google information so I can read about this particular open heart surgery for tetralogy of fallot, she just simply trusts that the surgeon will do his best job. 

While I queried the ER doctor over and over about little Ochro's recurring blue spells (also known as tet spells) which were becoming intense last week before today's surgery and about the risks of stopping all of his medications, she just simply trusts that he is getting the best care there is.

As our pastor was saying a prayer over little Ochro and my mind wandered in a few different directions thinking about the surgery risks, I look over and saw her simply trusting and fervently praying along. This is what simple faith looks like.

Little Ochro is not camera-shy at all. Here, he is having fun with CityNews camera man, Steve Boorne,
as he filmed segments on behalf of The Herbie Fund.

Lastly, she's also taught me what it means to choose gratefulness...

As little Ochro's original surgery date got cancelled and subsequently kept being delayed, days turned into weeks. I became increasingly impatient with each passing day and my first-world attitude of entitlement started to rear its ugly head. 

My friend, on the other hand, waited gracefully and patiently, and regarded all the medical care that little Ochro is and will be getting as pure gift. 

She exudes gratefulness... despite being away from home for almost two months now and will be here for yet another month because of the delay, despite being able to talk to her husband only once during these two months because their home in the Gobi Desert is not reachable via telecommunications, despite being terribly homesick. This is what choosing gratefulness looks like.

Friends, please continue to pray with us for little Ochro & his mama. This coming Saturday will mark 4 weeks since their arrival here & he is still waiting for a surgery date as the hospital is very busy. Good news is that Undrakh is recovering & healing very well 2 weeks after surgery! #1000gifts #SamaritansPurse #childrensheartproject #Mongolia

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on Apr 8, 2015 at 12:52pm PDT

After just four hours in the operating room instead of the estimated five to eight hours, little Ochro is now safely out of surgery and his heart repair is a success. Thank you, Jesus! Please continue to pray for him, friends... that his recovery will be swift and smooth so that they can return to their family soon.

As much as we would love to visit Mongolia one day, the reality is that we may never see each other again in this lifetime after our friends return home to Mongolia, but I will always remember this beautiful new friend of mine and the joy that she's brought into our family's life and the valuable things that I've learned from her. 

And little Ochro will definitely forever have a special place in my heart. I so love this little man... he gives the tightest, most endearing hugs! And I can always lay claim to the fact that I taught him how to take his very first selfies! ;)

#1000gifts ~ My little friend Ochro is learning all about taking selfies! BTW, he's never seen an iPad before but within minutes has learned to swipe through our photos! #smartkid

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on Mar 16, 2015 at 7:06am PDT

And it is wild joy knowing that there will be a day when we will all be worshipping God together again in the same place on the other side of eternity!

Oh, yes! --- Yeses to God can absolutely be scary, but the joy that follows is truly wild. I am so glad our family said, "Yes! Here I am... Lord, send me..."

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.

Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!

More Thoughts on Lent... on fear, on babies getting heart surgeries and on saying yes

Literally just two mere days after I wrote this blog post about my thoughts on Lent this year and made this declaration...

I want that — I want to be counted as People of the Cross, carrying around the Cross in my head — because that’s the only way there will be real love in my hands and feet and heart.

So the People of the Cross will pray that our faith in our Saviour is worth laying down our life for our Saviour. We will pray that we don’t live lives of cheap grace but of costly Christianity.

Too long The People of the Cross have crusaded for safe lives, too long we’ve wished for comfortable lives, too long we’ve wanted easy lives of Vanilla Love instead of Cross-shaped Love.

But the People of the Cross — we are done with safe lives of comfort instead of living dangerous lives that speak of the comfort found in Real Love who hung on a Cross."

~ Ann Voskamp.

... that God made my path cross with an opportunity to serve the least of these that is so outside my comfort zone that I literally cringed in fear. And then, I heard Him whisper, "My daughter, this is how I am leading you to make good on your word. Just trust me and follow my heart... for my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Yes, that oh so familiar unforced rhythm of a grace that can only come from Him.

You see, I might not have made plans for what our family would do for Lent this year, but my Heavenly Father had a plan already in place for us.

Friends, please meet Undrakh and Ochirkhuyag...

So, that opportunity to serve that made me cringe in fear? Yes, it's to take on the role of "hospital mom" for these two adorable baby boys from Mongolia, for these next eight weeks, as they come to Canada for heart surgeries via the ministry of Samaritan's Purse Children's Heart Project.

Will you join our family in praying for these two and also for the other children who have heart issues who are listed on this webpage? The surgery dates have since been changed... Ochirkhuyag's surgery is now scheduled for Tuesday, March 24 and Undrakh's is still unscheduled. {Update: Undrakh's surgery happened on March 26 and Ochirkhuyag's surgery was on April 21. Both boys are doing very well after surgery.}

For more up-to-date information, you can follow Samaritan's Purse Children's Heart Project on Facebook as well.

So, let me explain the cringing part...
I asked, "Why me, God?" Why did that appeal-for-help email have to land in my inbox? Isn't there someone else more qualified to do this than me?

You see, those who know me in real life would tell you that I am an introvert... that being around people all the time de-energizes me. Saying yes to this will require me to be constantly interacting with people, and lots of them, in these next eight weeks!

Also, driving all over this big city of ours isn't my most favourite thing to do. Saying yes to this will require me to be driving all over this big city a lot in these next eight weeks!

I get easily queasy dealing with and hearing about medical procedures, let alone details about heart surgeries on babies. Saying yes to this will require me to attend all the medical meetings and be in on all of these details before, during and after the surgeries during these next eight weeks!

I have literally not been sleeping well this whole week just thinking about these next eight weeks... it literally feels like as if my own child is going to have heart surgery. 

Yet, God gently whispered this... "for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." 

And to that I say, "Yes! Here I am... Lord, send me."

Our yes to God should scare us.

Not to keep us immobile, but to keep us dependent on the One who asks us to say it in the first place.

Fear keeps us moving towards God.

Yes, there is fear in obedience. But peace keeps us on the journey.

And the joy that follows our yes to God is wild.

~ Kristen Welch.

Honestly, I am just a small, small part of an awesome team of God's people who have come together to make these babies' surgeries a reality.

As I take on the role of "hospital mom", on the ground here in town is an awesome family who is hosting both babies, their mamas and their translators... six people whom they hardly know, strangers really, in their home, for these next eight weeks!

Now, that is something that's off-the-charts out of my comfort zone. I am blown away by this host family's generosity, compassion and lavish love.

I am also deeply grateful for the people who are on stand-by to help me with transportation, for our pastor who is willing to provide pastoral care, for people who have lent us baby car seats, for the hospital staff who has been so awesome already, and for an army of prayer warriors!

My thoughts wander to more of Ann Voskamp's words that I quoted in that same blog post that I wrote about my thoughts on Lent...

The People of the Cross repent of wanting to be greatly known for anything other than for loving greatly.

The People of the Cross repent of loving our agendas more — instead of interrupting our agendas because we love Jesus most.

We repent of loving You, Lord, so little because we have loved ourselves too much.

What if... The People of the Cross do more than Give Up something — but to Take Back something?

Take Back taking up our Cross,

Take Back our time so we can turn back to our First Love,

Take Back our hypocrisy and our complacency and our apathy and Love Lavishly,

Take Back our excuses for not committing to Give Back every day in some tangible, real way — to the local food bank, to a woman’s shelter, to the refugees and the foreigners and the Muslims and Hindus and Buddhists and to the forgotten neighbour next door with her meowing stray cat.

Maybe now is the time —

Now is the time to Take Back what it means to humbly and genuinely live the love of The People of the Cross.

~ Ann Voskamp.

Ah, yes... yes, I remember what I wrote... Lent is not going through the motions of the supposed-to-dos... of eating pancake dinners and of reading devotionals and of giving up something.

It is more than that. Way more than that...

It is a time to repent, of loving myself too much... and loving God so little.

Two more days and we will be at the airport to meet Ochirkhuyag and Undrakh and their mamas and their translators. As I run around today and tomorrow doing errands in preparation for their arrival, I am relishing in the fact that God would invite unqualified people such as our family to join Him in doing His work, to be His hands and His feet to the least of these.

It is sinking in now, truly it is... that this, this is exactly what it means to observe Lent and to live as People of the Cross... {and I am paraphrasing Ann Voskamp}:

When we want to be greatly known for nothing else but for loving greatly.

When we interrupt our agendas because we love Jesus.

When we repent of loving God so little because we love ourselves too much.

When we take back taking up our Cross.

When we take back hypocrisy and complacency and apathy and Love Lavishly.

As my son and I spend a big chunk of his March Break next week at the hospital with Ochirkhuyag and Undrakh attending a flurry of pre-op appointments, I will be holding on to this truth...

... that "the joy that follows our yes to God is wild."

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.

Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!

On This Path Towards Counter-Cultural Living

What does it look like anyway?
Yes, this path towards counter-cultural living, the Jesus-way --- what *does* it look like? This thought has hugely been on my heart and mind since our return from the Philippines this past summer.

With our Compassion child, JD and his family. It's so cute that JD would only hold my boy's hand. ♥

"When the worlds of poverty and wealth collide, the resulting powerful fusion can change the world."
~ Shane Claiborne.

Yet, there are days, like this past Sunday at church, when I could hardly sing these words as they flashed on the screen because the sheer intensity of their meaning almost consumed me...

Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use every power as You choose.
Take my will and make it Thine, it shall be no longer mine.

Then, Author and Professor Mark Buchanan, the guest teacher at church this past Sunday, started teaching on these verses from Romans 12:1-2:

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Yes, those verses. In fact, the entire twelfth chapter of Romans is pretty counter-cultural. Well, the entire Gospel is pretty counter-cultural! But let's just start with reading Romans 12 today, shall we?

You see, this is the thing --- the beautiful thing about this whole counter-cultural way of life is this... 

Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.

Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

Mark Buchanan pointed out to us that, as Christ-followers, we are called to be radically generous, to be radically hospitable and to be radically kind.

He said...

Radical generosity is... going further than just giving our stuff, our money and our time. It is making our life the very gift.

Radical hospitality is... going further than just inviting people over. It is inviting people to share in our very lives.

Radical kindness is... going further than just practising charity. It is overcoming evil by the good that we do.

We get to say an unconditional YES to God, because He said an unconditional YES to us.

We get to see the world through the heart of Jesus.

This is the thing that got me... the utterly beautiful thing that gripped me to the core: We get to do this. We get to live this. We get to say YES to God. This *is* the counter-cultural way of life!

In the days after the calendar turned to the New Year...
Our family has had a few opportunities to literally live this out. I can honestly tell you that, when push came to shove, it certainly did not come naturally nor was it easy... but one thing is sure and true: Obeying God and walking the Jesus-way is always life-giving and joy-inducing!

For how can it not be life-giving and joy-inducing when this mama sees her girl obey Jesus and follow Him right into a certain community where oceans rise {though it was intensely heart-wrenching to release her to fly}... and we end up welcoming this little boy from that very same community into our lives on the first week of this New Year, into our Compassion family?

For how can it not be life-giving and joy-inducing when both my kids earmark all of the money they received as gifts at Christmas towards sponsoring this little guy and two others in our Compassion family?

Johnrel from the Philippines, my girl's 2nd Compassion child.

For how can it not be life-giving and joy-inducing when, after writing to this boy for almost one whole year, he becomes available for sponsorship... and even though it means tweaking our family budget once again, we welcome yet another child into our growing Compassion family... for how can we not embrace him and call him our very own?

Patrick from Rwanda, our newest Compassion child.

For how can it not be life-giving and joy-inducing when hubby and I take our kids to drop by Matthew House, a home for refugee youth, because they would like to give away the movie gift card they received at Christmas so that these refugee youth can have a fun afternoon out together... something they rarely have?

Near where the Matthew House youth home is located.

For how can it not be life-giving and joy-inducing when our family can spend the first Sunday of the New Year volunteering at a Compassion Sunday event, even though it meant missing worship with our own church family... and as a result, seeing 55 children released from poverty?

The drive to the Compassion Sunday event.

For how can it not be life-giving and joy-inducing when we get to share in the lives of our Compassion children through the letters they write to us and we get to spend a Friday night writing letters back to them?

Letters from our Compassion children!

For how can it not be life-giving and joy-inducing when my kids choose to spend their Saturday afternoon at Matthew House with their youth leaders to learn more about the youth's stories and to befriend them?

Matthew House's youth home.

Life-giving and joy-inducing... for how can it not be?

For this is what it means to be a Christ-follower... it is to offer our very lives as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God.

For it is living, in pure grace, and embracing that what God does for us is the best thing we can do for Him --- it is the way to worship Him. 

For it is the only way to live as Christ-followers, not because of obligation or duty, but because... it is the only way we can live out that freedom for which Jesus sacrificed His very life for. It is saying YES to living this counter-cultural and radical way of life and saying NO to the patterns of this world.

Brothers and sisters, God has called you to freedom! Hear the call, and do not spoil this gift by using your liberty to engage in what your flesh desires; instead, use it to serve each other as Jesus taught through love. For the whole law comes down to this one instruction: “Love your neighbor as yourself..." - Galatians 5:13-14.

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.

Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!