God incarnate, here to dwell...

Emmanuel, God with us... 

This Christmas, I've been particularly struck by the fact that God was silent for 400 years before that very first Christmas. 400 years sure is a long time for humanity not to hear from God.

But was He silent? 

You see, I've also been struck by the fact that our concept of time isn't at all in sync with God's, for in Galatians 4:4 it says, "When the set time had fully come, God sent His Son..."

And, struck by the fact that, when He was seemingly silent, He was orchestrating the details of a life-changing story and actively working everything out for good.

Isn't it comforting to know that God's timing is always perfect and that He is always actively pursuing us, even when He is seemingly silent?

When God chose to finally reveal himself to humanity again, He did so first to one of the most unlikely people, a young woman—Mary. He asked her to be the vessel, to bring Emmanuel into this world. And Mary said, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word."

Because of Mary's yes, the silence was broken by a baby's cry that very first Christmas, the singular event that would change the course of history and afford us the freedom we now enjoy as Jesus people!

What then does this all mean for us, 2000+ years later?

As Jesus people, we now have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

As we continue to live in this broken world as people belonging to the New Covenant, we find ourselves also waiting, just like the people of the Old Covenant—waiting for that day when Jesus will once again make all things new. 

Similarly, Jesus invites us just as He invited Mary, into a partnership with Him. Like Mary, we may not feel the most qualified or think we're the most likely candidate—yet we are to be like Mary and assume this posture, "Let it be to me according to your word." 

We are to be a people who do not wait passively. As Jesus’ disciples, a people who know this Eternal Hope, we are to wait actively—working hard to see His Kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven.

This is the true meaning of Advent.

This is the posture our family continually wants to hold: May we be vessels for Emmanuel to come into the lives of those who are broken and longing to be whole—that Good News to the poor, that freedom for the captives, that sight for the blind, that liberty for the oppressed, just as Jesus outlined in Luke‬ ‭4:18‬.

2018 family highlights {the top 10, in no particular order}:

1. In January, Jon attached his name to the official North American Record single time for the 3x3x3 one-handed speedcubing event with a 7.57-second solve! Not only is it #1 in North America, it is also #2 in the world, just one under the World Record. You can watch that solve here.

2. In February, I had the privilege of co-leading my very first official Pastors' Vision Trip with Compassion. We headed to Nicaragua. You can get a glimpse into this trip via my posts on Instagram tagged #PastorsTripNicaragua2018. Soon after we left the country, violent protests started and it's still ongoing to some extent. The beautiful people of Nicaragua have been on my heart and in my prayers!

3. Speaking of the beautiful people of Nicaragua, we now have a special connection to one of them—our newest Compassion child, Luis! I met Luis while in Nicaragua and couldn't help but fall in love with this witty and smart boy!

4. Alyssa turns 22 in the New Year... she is currently on her placement year as part of the International Development Studies program at the University of Toronto. She had initially planned to do her placement year in Rwanda, but things took an unexpected turn. She writes about that journey here. As a result, she is doing her placement right here at home with Compassion Canada, as Writer and Communicator. I might be biased, but she is an absolutely stellar co-worker! This year, she's travelled the country and the world, speaking and writing—lending her voice to those who don't have one. I can't be more proud of how she's stewarded this God-given platform, grateful for God's grace manifesting itself so beautifully in her life!

5. In June, Floyd and I celebrated 24 years of marriage. Him and me, we’ve been through a lot of life together now. He truly has been my stego, described so eloquently by these words penned by Ann Voskamp: "Love bears all things like a roof bears the wind and the rain, like a roof that bears the burden of lashing storms, brutal heat. Real love is a roof. Real love makes you into a shelter, real love makes you into a safe place. Real love makes you safe. Stego. There is always a way forward that finds a way to love. We could be the ones who know that "the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." (Galatians 5:6)."

6. During the latter half of the summer, our church's 2nd Syrian newcomer family completed their one year of life in Toronto! It’s been one of our family’s greatest joys to have walked this journey that’s so much outside of comfort zone, and one of my greatest privileges to lead this refugee sponsorship committee over these past three years! This family has grown wings to fly. We are extremely happy for them!

7. Jon turned 18 this year... time truly flows like a relentless river. This is the first Christmas that both our kids are adults! Talk about feeling old! Jon graduated from high school this year, top of his class! We are so incredibly proud of him!

8. Speaking of being proud of Jon, just before I left for my Nicaragua trip, this boy received an early offer of acceptance to study Engineering Science at the University Of Toronto, admittedly one of the toughest undergraduate programs in the country. As I tap out this Christmas update, he is on his way to write one of his final exams. By the end of this week, he will have successfully completed 1/8 of his degree! Have I already said that we are so incredibly proud of him?!?

9. This summer, our travels brought us to Northern Thailand and Taipei (Taiwan). Our trip is well documented on Instagram as #Esparaz2Asia. We were in Taipei for Jon to compete in the 2018 Asian Championship speedcubing competition. We then side-tripped to Northern Thailand in order to spend a week with our three Compassion children there—Eakkawin, Taeng-Mo and Lili. It was such an amazing and inspiring experience, one that has ignited our family's passion anew to see exponentially more children released from poverty in Jesus' name via Compassion's ministry.

10. Speaking of Compassion, we are celebrating with our global Compassion family for the milestone of now having TWO MILLION children registered in our programs!!! This is only possible because of our partnership with the 7,000 frontline church partners across 25 field countries, as we saw anew firsthand this summer in Northern Thailand! As a family, we count it a blessing and a privilege to serve God via this wonderful ministry.

As this year comes to a close, we are celebrating 1200+ Compassion children connected with loving sponsors this year here in the Greater Toronto Area through various events and church services! We are deeply grateful for the dedicated and committed volunteers who so faithfully serve with us to grow Compassion's ministry in this region of Canada. I am personally grateful for the trust afforded to me by Pastors and church leaders across this region, as they continually open their doors to embrace Compassion's ministry and partner to see children's lives holistically changed! My family and I are truly overwhelmed and incredibly humbled… we truly serve a good, good Father.

~ :: ~

As the calendar turns to 2019, may we continue to live out the true meaning of Advent as we wait. May we be vessels for Emmanuel to come into the unexpected places—God incarnate, here to dwell.

What hope we hold this starlit night | A King is born in Bethlehem | Our journey long, we seek the light | That leads to the hallowed manger ground.

Emmanuel, Emmanuel | God incarnate, here to dwell | Emmanuel, Emmanuel | Praise His name Emmanuel.

The son of God, here born to bleed | A crown of thorns would pierce His brow | And we beheld this offering | Exalted now the King of kings | Praise God for the hallowed manger ground.

From our family to yours... 
Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

With much love + gratitude,

The Esparaz Family:

Floyd, Aimee, Alyssa and Jon

2017 In Review {our family's year-end newsletter...}

We believe in Christmas... 

One merely has to scroll through social media or watch TV or glance at the headlines blaring from the newspaper stands to know that our world is becoming an increasingly dark place. Wars, natural disasters, political unrest, injustice, poverty, deep fissures in faith communities, racial tensions, gender-based violence... and the list goes on and on.

These were the realities of 2017.

As Christ-followers, more so than ever, we urgently need to be "a wick to light hope in the dark."

You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father. - Matthew 5:14-16, NLT.

As Ann Voskamp writes in The Greatest Gift, "When you are a wick to light hope in the dark, then you believe in Christmas. When you really believe in Christmas, you believe there is really hope for everyone."

In our own small way, our family desires to be this Jesus-light to our dark world. 

2017 highlights {the top 10, in no particular order}:

1. This year, we saw a couple of our Compassion kids leave the program because their parents are in better positions to support the families. As a result, we've welcomed two new kids to replace them: Taeng-Mo from Thailand and Justine from the Philippines (who is Alyssa's sponsor child). We've also added three children to our Compassion family: Hannah, Krevin and Jethro, who are all from the same Compassion implementing church partner located in my dad's hometown in the Philippines!

2. In the summer, Jon's speed-cubing "career" brought us all the way to London, England and Paris, France! What a treat! Our trip was well documented on Instagram under the hashtag #Esparaz2Europe!

3. Speaking of speed-cubing, Jon achieved two pretty amazing personal best solves this year: a 5.52-second solve of the 3x3 cube, which ranks him at 24th in the world and a 22.40-second solve of the 4x4 cube, which ranks 8th in the world!!!

4. Jon turned 17 this year... just where does the time go?!? He is currently buried deep in university and scholarship applications. He is hoping to go into either engineering or statistics.

5. During the latter half of the summer, we welcomed our church's 2nd Syrian newcomer family to Toronto! It has been such a gift to lead our church's refugee sponsorship committee and to walk alongside this precious family as they navigate the complexities of resettlement to a new country.

6. Alyssa is half-way through her 3rd year of International Development Studies at the University of Toronto. She is currently exploring placement opportunities as she will be embarking on an 8-12 month placement in a developing country next year.

7. In addition to being a full-time student, Alyssa manages to work part-time as Compassion Canada's Advocacy Associate. This year, she worked on the Eyes To See project which was released in September. She is also co-chair of the International Development Conference at her school. As if that's not already a full schedule, she also managed to do 25 speaking engagements over the course of this year!

8. Alyssa turns 21 in the New Year... just where does the time go?!? To celebrate this milestone birthday, she has set this audacious, bold and BIG goal—to see 21 Compassion children connected with sponsors! Family and friends, will you sponsor one of these children? Also, I'm going to be missing Alyssa's birthday this year—first time ever that I'll be missing her birthday—because I will be co-leading a Compassion Canada Pastors' Vision Trip to Nicaragua in February. So, if you choose a child from Nicaragua to sponsor, I'll be more than happy to bring them a gift from YOU! So... what are you waiting for? Click here now and help Alyssa meet her audacious, bold and BIG 21st birthday goal!!!

9. Speaking of Compassion, our family is celebrating 1150 Compassion children connected with loving sponsors here in the Greater Toronto Area in 2017 through various events and church services! We are deeply grateful for the dedicated and committed volunteers who so faithfully serve with us to grow Compassion's ministry here in the GTA. We are truly overwhelmed and incredibly humbled… we truly serve a good, good Father.

10. After more than a year of looking, researching and shopping, Floyd finally found the perfect one—a new-to-us Subaru Forester to replace our 14-year-old family van which gifted us with 307,000+ kilometres of memories starting from when Jon was only 3 years old!

As we look towards 2018, our family will seek to continue lighting this dark world and the unexpected places with a brave flame of joy; warming the cold, hopeless places with the daring joy that God is with us, God is for us, God is in us.  

Because we believe in Christmas.

From our family to yours... 
Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

With much love + gratitude,

The Esparaz Family:

Floyd, Aimee, Alyssa and Jon

On Unexpected Ways God Answers Prayers...

After a long hiatus from writing, it took this #Esparaz2Europe trip to break the silence on this blog.

As I tap out these words on my iPad keyboard, we are speeding across The Channel Tunnel, a.k.a. The Chunnel, towards Paris. The Chunnel is considered one of the seven wonders of the modern world, the longest undersea tunnel on the globe.

My family and I just wrapped up three days of being tourists in London and two days cheering on my boy as he competed in the London Open 2017 Rubik's Cube speed-cubing competition.

In store for us in Paris are another four days of being tourists and four days of my boy competing in the 2017 World Rubik's Cube Championship.

My boy often says, "Speed-cubing is a privileged activity." I would agree with him 100% and I'm grateful that he recognizes this fact. Our privilege and wealth is certainly not lost on me, especially during this trip.

This is the first time, in many years, that we are not spending our summer vacation in a developing country visiting one of our Compassion sponsor children and immersing ourselves in their culture and way of life. These summer trips to the developing world have become a sacred form of pilgrimage for our family.

I thought twice about embarking on this trip to London and Paris.

Why? You might ask...

You see, I worried that my fickle heart would revert back into loving and craving these luxurious, self-pacifying vacations. I worried that our now beloved family tradition of summer pilgrimages to the developing world might somehow pale in comparison to this experience.

Yet, I recognize that God uses all our experiences for His glory, if only we let Him.

Before leaving home, I had a little chat with God. I asked Him to use this trip to continually open my eyes to the brokenness of this world, even in world-class cities like London and Paris.

We arrived in London last week late at night, after the long flight to Paris across the Atlantic and a lengthy delay with the Paris-London train.

When hubby googled how to take the "tube" to our hotel, he asked me: "Did you know that our hotel is right beside a mosque?" No, I didn't. We later find out that this mosque is one of the largest mosques in all of Europe!

We arrived at Whitechapel Station and proceeded to walk towards the hotel, luggages and backpacks in tow. We were definitely quite the sight... tourists! At the first stop light, while waiting to cross the street, a woman standing nearby proceeds to collapse to the ground... either drunk or high on drugs.

Upon arriving at our hotel, I spotted the mosque right away. I also noticed a facility across the street called Booth House, eerily similar in feel to Maxwell Meighen Centre back home. In fact, that entire walk from the tube station to the hotel felt eerily similar to walking along Sherbourne Street, where we do sandwich runs for the homeless back in Toronto.

With Google to the rescue again, I quickly learned that Booth House is one of the largest centres working with homeless men in London and is the largest Salvation Army centre in the entire country. I knew it, I was right about it feeling eerily similar to Maxwell Meighen Centre! 

Furthermore, Google said not to walk lengthy distances in this neighbourhood at night. Google can really scare the daylights out of you sometimes...

My mama-bear instincts kicked into high gear. In hindsight, I must confess that it was paranoia more than anything else. I hastily called a family meeting. I said: "We need to find another hotel. I don't care if we lose the money we already paid for this 6-night stay. This is not a safe neighbourhood with a homeless shelter across the street. And with the recent terror activities in London, the last place we want to be sleeping at is right beside a mosque!"

My rant was met with three bewildered stares and three logically wise minds. 

I really do thank Jesus for keeping my family's logic intact during my wildly illogical panicky moments. ;) 

They gently explained to me that the touristy places we will be visiting the next day are more of a target for terror attacks than the mosque itself. If we aren't avoiding the touristy areas, why should this be a problem? As for the homeless shelter, well... as I pointed out myself, it feels no different from Maxwell Meighen Centre back home... so why would it suddenly be scary, just because it's in London?

Gotta love my family! I quickly came to my senses and realized that I was acting like a paranoid woman.

Don't get me wrong. We did take precautions and found a better tube station to depart from/arrive at the hotel... and we took an Uber when we were returning late in the night.

I must confess that it took a while for me to fall asleep that first night. I lay awake and sensed God gently reminding me of my little chat asking Him to use this trip to continually open my eyes to the brokenness of this world, even in world-class cities like London and Paris.

Yes, that little chat! 

I had to chuckle upon realizing that this is God's way of answering my prayer. 

Really... what answer was I expecting after a prayer like that?!? 

What better way to keep my eyes open to see the brokenness of this world than a daily reminder, with each 5-minute walk from the hotel to the tube station and back, of the life that street-involved people live and of a community of people facing harsh discrimination these days.

... with each day of being tourists and seeing posh London in all of its royalty, riches and glory, then returning to the broken and battered neighbourhood where our hotel is situated.

... with each end-of-the-day walking past the open doors of the mosque and seeing evening prayers happen and being reminded of the imminent arrival of our church's second sponsored Syrian refugee family. In fact, I received a pre-arrival email notice from the Government of Canada just yesterday!

... with each day of trekking over to luxurious Canary Wharf where the speed-cubing competition venue was, then returning back to our hotel at night. I kid you not, when the light rail train pulled into Heron Quays Station, I said to my kids: "This feels a lot like arriving in The Capitol in the Hunger Games movie!"

Furthermore, my girl had the privilege and joy to share about Compassion's work with a local Filipino congregation in east-side London and, as a result, saw 12 Compassion kids released from poverty in Jesus' name.

My girl's speaking engagement was, in hindsight, another way God was answering my prayer during this trip. 

It was a reminder to me that, even during a time of vacation, God can and will continue to use us to be His hands and His feet, if only we let Him... to not only release Compassion children from poverty in Jesus' name, but also to release fellow first-world Christ-followers from the poverty of too much, in Jesus' name.

Needless to say, posh London is certainly a place where the poverty of too much is clearly evident.

It reminded me of this quote by Shane Claiborne:

When the worlds of poverty and wealth collide, the resulting powerful fusion can change the world.

On our last night in London, we casually stroll along Whitechapel Road to a local Punjabi restaurant for dinner late that night. I realized that this neighbourhood has grown on me over these last five days.

... and I quietly thanked God for taking our family on yet another summer pilgrimage, to a place where we least expected it.

He truly is a good, good Father. Perfect in all of His ways, to us.

A Letter to Haiti on this Thanksgiving Weekend...

Dear Haiti,

Simmering on my stove top is a huge heavy pot of my grandma's signature dish, her braised pork hocks in soy-caramel sauce, which I am attempting to make for the first time today because my dad is missing his mama's home-cooked meals.

Holidays have their way of making one's heart miss departed loved ones. This weekend, it's Thanksgiving here in Canada.

Soon, my sisters and their families will arrive at my house with even more food... and we will gather around the table to feast.

So will many fellow Canadians throughout this entire weekend. We will eat and we will overeat and we will fill our stomachs... and come Tuesday, many of us will hit the gym to shed those excess calories gained over the weekend.

Because that's how we are in the first world. 

We have way more than what we know what to do with.

The entire house is starting to smell delicious with the salty-sweet liquid slowly braising and the aroma of star anise and garlic fills our nostrils. I think I've successfully made my grandma's signature dish! Soon, we will be eating to our hearts' content.

Yet, somehow... eating and feasting is the last thing on my mind on this Thanksgiving weekend.

Because, YOU ARE.

You see, just over a month ago... my family and I stood on your soil and found new friends. 

Today, my heart aches for them.

  

On this Thanksgiving weekend, news is just starting to trickle out about how you fared after Hurricane Matthew hit you with its full force earlier this week.

You... still recovering from the devastating 2010 earthquake... were the subject of Hurricane Matthew's wrath. 

Headlines read...

Hurricane Matthew: Haiti south '90% destroyed'
Hurricane Matthew: Food, Water Shortages Threaten Haiti Victims
Haiti Grapples With Cholera After Deadly Hurricane Matthew Hits

My heart aches as I await word on how our friends are, our family really: our Compassion sponsor children, Bradley and Linsey and their families; our host and translator Pastor Ephraim and his family.

How about George and Remy and Arnold who all live along the shoreline and peddle local crafts for a living? I wonder how they are?

On this Thanksgiving weekend, I am desperately wanting, more than ever, to turn my thanksgiving into thanks-living.

Thanksgiving for God’s love always seeks to become thanks-living – a living and giving of His love.

Christian hands never clasp and He doesn’t give gifts for gain because a gift can never stop being a gift — a gift is always meant to be given….

God calls me to do thanks. To give the thanks away. That thanks-giving might literally become thanks-living. That our lives become the very blessings we have received.

~ Ann Voskamp.

My dear Haiti, you see... those of us who live in this first world have been abundantly blessed with much materially. We have so much to be thankful for and it shouldn't, it cannot, end at merely mouthing our thanks.

If we call ourselves Christ-followers, the next step absolutely needs to be taken and that is the living out of this thanks...

Because to whom much is given, much will be required.

Because living out a sacrificial life of grateful holiness is the only appropriate response to grace.

Go through His gates, giving thanks; walk through His courts, giving praise. Offer Him your gratitude and praise His holy name. Because the Eternal is good, His loyal love and mercy will never end, and His truth will last throughout all generations. ~ Psalm 100:4-5.

Brothers and sisters, in light of all I have shared with you about God’s mercies, I urge you to offer your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice to God, a sacred offering that brings Him pleasure; this is your reasonable, essential worship. ~ Romans 12:1.

I will not make an offering to the Eternal One, my True God, that has cost me nothing. ~ 2 Samuel 24:24.

My dear Haiti, on this Thanksgiving weekend... I am thankful for an organization called Compassion International, a ministry my family and I love. Compassion has been in Haiti since 1968. Today, they are partnering with more than 270 of your churches and together they take care of about 80,000 of your beautiful children and their families, including our Bradley and our Linsey!

After a natural disaster such as Hurricane Matthew, I trust Compassion to help you rebuild just like they did so diligently after the 2010 earthquake.

They will rebuild Haiti again after Hurricane Matthew. I know they will. 

My dear Haiti, on this Thanksgiving weekend... my prayer is that, as fellow Christ-followers in this vast country of ours sit down to feast on their Thanksgiving meals, you will be forefront in their minds.

Just like you are in mine.

As I sit down shortly to enjoy those slow-braised pork hocks with its mouth-watering soy-caramel sauce... please know that you will not be far from my heart, my dear Haiti.

On this Thanksgiving weekend, I am remembering you, my dear Haiti... because setting foot on your soil and finding friends there and seeing how beautiful you are in your brokennes has re-membered me in ways that are profound.

Because when we remember how He blesses and loves us, when we recollect His goodnesses to us — our broken places re-collect. We re-member. We heal. In the remembering to give thanks, our broken places are re-membered — made whole.

~ Ann Voskamp.

:: :: ::

Sponsor a Compassion child in Haiti:

Canadians | Non-Canadians

At summer's end...

Quiet blog. Quite full life. So... life has definitely been anything but quiet since God called me into this full-time ministry role with Compassion at the start of this year, taking care of Ministry Relations in the Greater Toronto Area for this amazing organization.

The song You Make Me Brave has been my anthem... because since starting this role, I've had to wake up each day and ask God to help me with being brave.

I have heard You calling my name
I have heard the song of love that You sing
So I will let You draw me out beyond the shore
Into Your grace
Your grace

You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves

And He has done just that. He makes me brave!

I can say that stepping into this ministry role is, by far, the hardest "job" I have ever said YES to.

Yes, the word "job" is in quotation marks. Because this truly doesn’t feel like a job. Truly, it doesn’t. 

I feel so blessed to be working at Compassion… never in a million years would I have imagined that this would be the path God would lead our family on. Each day, I give thanks to Him for putting me in this role. It is such a privilege!

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on Jul 13, 2016 at 1:14pm PDT

Yet, it is not easy. It is downright hard. Everyday.

It comes with difficult losses and hard sacrifices and dictates changes to our family's life and our well-oiled routines...

but it also comes with lots and lots of amazing wins and astounding joys!

I wouldn’t trade it for anything... because I know that we are working for a greater purpose --- to see children and families released from all forms of poverty in Jesus’ name.

It has definitely required a lot of being brave. This is the truth.

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on Jan 2, 2016 at 7:05am PST

So each day I draw on that fount of grace and choose braveness as my anthem. 

Each day I choose to do the hard thing and choose to stay hungry for fruitfulness.

Each day I pray and ask for God's favour and stand amazed that broken me is useful to Him.

Each day I put my hand to the plow, embrace new patterns of living and have since found this prayer to be intensely and fiercely true...

May we put our hand to the plow and work as those who have a higher calling. In the days that come, Lord, reveal to us new patterns of living where our spiritual lives and work lives become an integrated whole. May all that we do be worship to You.

We acknowledge that out of the ashes of our lives You are bringing shalom. We believe You are calling us to be a part of Your shalom work in our own cities and across the globe. We ask You to lead us and guide us. We are called to be Your hands and feet. As representatives of Christ we believe we should carry Your message of love and grace into the dark places You came to restore, the places where disease and illness plague people. Lord, do not allow us to seek safe havens, to hide the news of Your gospel; instead, call us out so that Your Good News will be evident to all.

- Chris Seay, A Place at the Table.

#1000gifts ~ One of the many churches my journey as @CompassionCA's GTA Ministry Relations Representative has taken me to. This one is definitely #vintage, don't you think?

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on May 24, 2016 at 5:33pm PDT

The more I grow in this role, the more I realize my need to fully be dependent on God and His all-encompassing grace.

It is what sustains. It is what rejuvenates. It is what restores.

I have also come to realize that, more than ever, I need God to keep the eyes of my heart open. To see and to be reminded about the bigger picture...

because it can be too easy to get sucked into the daily grind and the numbers and the spreadsheets.

I have come to realize that our family's summer pilgrimages are all the more important now.

These summer pilgrimages have played a vital role in keeping our hearts' eyes open and continually aware... to those things that break the heart of God. It has shown us that "mutual embrace of life as it can be."

It is a truly beautiful, sacred thing.

This is why... next week, at summer's end, we will pack our bags and we will head to Haiti... and we look forward to the mutual embracing of life with our two Haitian Compassion children, Bell Bradley and Linsey...

where the mystery of God intertwining our family's story with theirs will be savoured...

where we will embrace the hard and the broken, as He calls us deeper still... 

where we will see afresh the reality of our own brokenness...

where we will continue to draw on that fount of grace and continue to choose braveness as our anthem...

where we will know anew that He truly is a good, good Father... perfect in all of His ways to us.

Nodding YES leads to beautifully sacred places...

I wrote this at the start of the year... yet, never in my wildest imagination would I have envisioned what God would have for our family this year:

... and I have suddenly found myself, at the start of this New Year, in a place of seeking what God's next steps are for us this year and for the longer term.

And so, I will seek... because...

"When you seek Me in prayer and worship, you will find Me available to you. If you seek Me with all your heart and soul, I will make Myself available to you," says the Lord.

Little did I know just how many yeses this resolve-to-seek-God would entail... and just how wild the joy is that would follow them. All year, this quote by Kristen Welch resonated with me:

Our yes to God should scare us.
Not to keep us immobile, but to keep us dependent on the One who asks us to say it in the first place.
Fear keeps us moving towards God.
Yes, there is fear in obedience. But peace keeps us on the journey.
And the joy that follows our yes to God is wild.

One out-of-my-comfort-zone YES was followed by another and another and another...

In the spring, we saw these two adorable boys through open-heart surgeries and experienced that wild joy of seeing a beautiful mama choose Jesus as Lord of her life! They are now back to their life in Mongolia.

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on Mar 14, 2015 at 10:23am PDT

In the summer, we found ourselves in Guatemala and seeing a story unfold not exactly the way we expected it to, yet finding joy in knowing God is in control of everything.

#1000gifts ~ Emotional goodbye at the end of our visit with Esperanza. So thankful God orchestrated for us to meet. When we planned our trip, we didn't know this was going to be our final goodbye. Esperanza is with child and was recently married, so it's time for her to leave the @compassion program and our sponsorship of her is ending. Words will come to me soon, I'm sure, to tell you the story about this day. But not yet... still processing many hard things in my heart. I do know one thing for certain... the difference truly is Jesus! #esparaz2gua Photo creds: @papa2greatkids

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on Aug 1, 2015 at 5:36pm PDT

In the fall, we found ourselves unexpectedly spear-heading a committee at our church to sponsor two refugee families from Syria to come settle in Toronto. We are currently eagerly anticipating the news of our first family's imminent arrival!

this is a creeper photo at its finest but I just felt that I needed to capture this moment. you see, these are my parents. up way-too-early on a saturday morning (sleep-in day!), up to their ears in emails and to-dos and paperwork... all because in a few weeks, our church family will be at the airport to welcome one, then two, refugee families into our city and our lives. but when those instagrams of happy new beginnings get posted on airport day, I wanted this one to exist. the one of these two people up on a Saturday morning, working tirelessly together in the PJs, so that that airport day can happen. this is the example that I am so thankful has been set before me for my entire life. also, this is what #refugeeswelcome looks like in the everyday - it's not a retweet or a fb post or lobbying our gov't. it is stinkin' hard work - work that I've seen not only my parents, but so many people in our church community put in already and I know I will only see increase after airport day. literally countless individuals giving up Saturday mornings, Tuesday evenings, Sunday afternoons or even their own vacation days from work to apartment search, make budgets, source furniture, meet translators, and so.much.more. this is what all those news reports and big numbers like 25000 look like in real life - it's not always glamorous and super warm and fuzzy. sometimes it's Saturday morning paperwork in your PJs. if you're still reading this, I'm wrapping up - promise. I'll just say this: the advocate in me wrote this post to give a small snapshot into what refugee sponsorship looks like in the everyday. but the daughter in me wrote it to say this: I captured this photo because I am so incredibly blessed.thankful.proud to call these two people my parents. #realrelationshipgoals #prouddaughter #wewelcomerefugees

A photo posted by alyssa (@_godsgal4ever) on Dec 5, 2015 at 7:41am PST

Yet, the biggest YES that God is asking our family to say was still coming and it would come in the form of a big change for me... in the form of a new job.

I have always loved this quote by Frederick Buechner: "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet."

And, that's just where He has asked me to say YES!

#1000gifts ~ Yes, this...

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on Sep 30, 2015 at 3:03pm PDT

I am beyond excited to share that, in the New Year, I will be stepping into the role of Ministry Relations Representative for the Greater Toronto Area for Compassion Canada, an organization that our family so dearly loves and supports!

I am still pinching myself... as sometimes I still think that this can't be really happening. It is a huge gift to be able to work for an organization where every.single.day I can live out Micah 6:8 in the most tangible and realest way.

This decision definitely didn't come easy... only after much prayer, contemplation and soul-searching.

It is a scary YES, but also equally exciting!

In the early days of considering this opportunity, these verses from Ephesians 3:7-21 have been paramount as God used them to speak to me:

This is my life work: helping people understand and respond to this Message. It came as a sheer gift to me, a real surprise, God handling all the details. When it came to presenting the Message to people who had no background in God’s way, I was the least qualified of any of the available Christians. God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities.

And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ. My task is to bring out in the open and make plain what God, who created all this in the first place, has been doing in secret and behind the scenes all along. Through followers of Jesus like yourselves gathered in churches, this extraordinary plan of God is becoming known and talked about even among the angels!

All this is proceeding along lines planned all along by God and then executed in Christ Jesus. When we trust in him, we’re free to say whatever needs to be said, bold to go wherever we need to go. So don’t let my present trouble on your behalf get you down. Be proud!

My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

There were also many markers, allowing me to see God's hand in all.of.this. upcoming change... markers that God seemingly put in place to let me know that He's got this!

Little details such as the verse from Leviticus 23:22, the verse we found bookmarked, highlighted and underlined in our beloved Papa's Bible as we sifted through his earthly belongings after his home-going to heaven.

We have since sought to live out the meaning of this verse in our family's everyday life.

When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you. I am the Lord your God.

And I don't think it's a coincidence that this very verse is the explanation behind Compassion International's blue corner. I was absolutely blown away when I recently realized the connection. 

#1000gifts ~ A new photo wall here at home with photos of us & our beloved Papa. The framed verse is the first verse I saw that he highlighted & underlined in his Bible when I flipped through it as we sorted his earthly belongings at his home in Cebu a few weeks ago. It is from Leviticus 23:22... "When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you. I am The Lord your God."

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on Jul 22, 2014 at 8:49am PDT

Or little details such as this video of Wess Stafford's story. Wess, or Papa Wess as he is fondly known to many, is President Emeritus of Compassion International. In the video, he invites everyone to join him as advocates for children, all children. He says, "Maybe it's joining us at Compassion..." and "together, we can make the world a better place for these children."

His story caused me to look back to my childhood and it resonates strongly with me... once a damaged child, now entrusted with a ministry serving the world's most vulnerable children... evidence that God is in the business of transfiguring brokenness into something beautiful! 

And that question at the end of the video... "What about the rest of them?" That question fuels me. It is the reason our family tirelessly advocates for Compassion for many years now.


Or little details such as God's hand in ensuring that the transition from my current job is done well and that I leave with a good testimony.

This is of paramount importance to me as my manager has been such a blessing to me all these years. I absolutely count these thirteen years that I've worked for her as pure gift because it has allowed me to stay home for my children during their most formative years. Not many mamas have had the same opportunity!

I have been utterly blown away at how impeccable the timing is and how seamless the transition has been. Only God could have arranged those details... for which I will forever be grateful!

Now, a new God-adventure is on the horizon... one that is beyond what I've asked for or even imagined, just like the verse from Ephesians 3:20 says.

How awesome is it that I get to have my family along (sometimes!) with me at work? How awesome is it that they are all equally as passionate about Compassion's mission as I am? How awesome is it that we acknowledge this as God's calling on our entire family, and not just for me?

So breathtakingly awesome. More than words can even express. 

I am utterly humbled and deeply grateful... can't wait to see what God has in store!

Our most favourite thing to do together as a family!

#1000gifts ~ Awesome two days representing @Compassion Canada at #LProof15 with my girl @_godsgal4ever and seeing 90 children released from poverty in Jesus' name! #TheDifferenceIsJesus Photo Creds: my sister @airanlee

A photo posted by Aimee Esparaz (@mama2greatkids) on Nov 7, 2015 at 10:34am PST

This photo is special to me because it was taken at my last official event as an Advocate, just last weekend...
but, once an Advocate, always an Advocate! I will always, always, always be an Advocate at heart! ♥

And did I mention that I get to work with this amazingly crazy bunch of people?
This awesome team represents Compassion Canada across this vast country of ours.
This photo was taken just last week at this year's Christmas Party.
They graciously invited this newbie and her hubby even though I don't officially start in my role until the New Year!

I am blessed. I can bless. Imagine! I could let Him make me the gift!

I could be the joy!

In an endless cycle of grace, He gives us gifts to serve the world. This is how to make a life great and eucharisteo embarks us on the path: "Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave" (Matthew 20:26-27).

It's the fundamental, lavish, radical nature of the upside-down economy of God.

Empty to fill.

Here I can become the blessing, a little life that multiplies joy, making the larger world a better place.

God can enter into me, even me, and use these hands, these feet, to be His love, a love that goes on and on and on forever, endless cycle of grace.

~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.

Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!