God's Ways...

My plans aren’t your plans, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my plans than your plans.

~ Isaiah 55:8-9, CEB.

Yesterday, I said "no" to a very good opportunity so that I can say "yes" to the best things that God has in store for me.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm disappointed that things didn't turn out the way I envisioned them to, but I can truly say that my heart is at peace with this outcome, for I know that my God is always good and I am always loved!

Let's rewind time, shall we? Five months ago, back in October 2012, an awesome job opportunity opened up at an organization that our family loves and supports. Everyone, and I mean everyone, urged me to apply for the job. The job is sooooo me, I was told.

At first, everyone but me was excited for me... if you know what I mean. Deep down in my heart though, I knew that God wanted me to take the plunge, to obey... to surrender, to send in my application. So I did!

I don't have the words to explain this properly, but the very minute I clicked "send" on that email to submit my application, a deep sense of release and peace washed over me. I knew, at that very moment, that I did what God wanted me to do...

I know God is speaking to me when, in spite of my initial struggle, an undeniable release and peace follows when I have obeyed His voice. When I finally do the thing He has been nudging me to do, whether it's letting something or someone go, or taking a step toward the unknown, there is a deep calm in my soul. Where my heart and mind were once filled with terrible angst, I am now filled with a supernatural peace.

~ Kathy Troccoli, as printed in Discerning the Voice of God, Week 4, Day 3, page 73.

Yes, that feeling!

It's a beautiful feeling... and with it came the warming up to this idea of a new career path for me. I began to see that, indeed, this job is soooo me. I started to get excited about the possibilities, the things I can accomplish with this position, the ways I can make a difference in the lives of children living in extreme poverty all over the world, the way I can live out Micah 6:8 even more intentionally.

I kept moving up in the interview process. I prayed and I waited. I was excited and I was anxious. I was soooo ready for this change. By the time 2013 rolled around, I was at the last stages of the interview process, set to meet with the top leaders of this organization.

Then, something quite serious happened in mid-January reminding me not to neglect the high calling of motherhood in my pursuit of this new career. Hubby and I talked, I prayed... and I prayed some more, asking God to clearly show me the way. And, He did...

I felt very strongly that God was telling me, at this time, to not work full-time so that I can continue to devote much-needed time and support to my children, to my family. I felt like I was in a conundrum. Why would God so clearly have me apply for this full-time position, only to plop a situation on my lap to tell me that I am *not* to work full-time?!?

So... my One Word for 2013 --- surrender. Yes, that word. God sure has been giving me lots of opportunities to practice surrendering since the New Year rolled around. I came to the conclusion that it's time for another moment of surrender.

I fired off an email to my contact at this organization and told him about my conundrum. I proposed part-time work terms for this job opportunity and asked them to consider it. I apologize for surprising him with this news and told him that I didn't expect to be in this position as well when I first applied for the job.

I told him that I feel very strongly that motherhood is my first and highest calling, that I would still very much love to explore this position on a part-time basis, and still feel that I would be a very good fit given my gifts and my passion for helping those in need. But if the organization feels that they cannot continue with the interview process with me due to this new development, that I fully understand.

Yesterday, they told me that they don't think a part-time arrangement would work.

So, sadly but surely, and with great conviction... 
I surrendered and said "no" to this very good opportunity... in order to say "yes" to being a mom. 

I feel blessed, I am blessed. I am not without a job, as I continue on with my current job {which I can do within 32 hours/week}. And the beautiful thing is... even though I won't be a staff member at this time, I continue on as a Volunteer Advocate for this wonderful organization, being involved on a regular basis in making a difference in the lives of children living in extreme poverty all over the world, still living out Micah 6:8 with intentionality each day!

And this isn't the end of this story. As the organization goes on to interview other applicants in an effort to find a full-time person for this position, they've told me to hang in there... 'coz they just might call me back. You see, when God writes your story, you just never know what the next chapter will look like... 

Father, today I thank you that your greatest desire for me as your child is to have a rich, satisfying and abundant life. I pray that you will give me the wisdom to know how to say "no" to the good things that come my way so that I can say "yes" to the best things that you have for me. I pray for your wisdom that is beyond human understanding to help me make these choices that will ultimately bring out the best in me as well as bring out the best in those around me for your glory and honor! In Jesus' name, Amen.

~ Prayer from Day 17 of YouVersion's ReThink Life: 40 Day Devotional.

As my girl so eloquently put it last night, "Mom, God was just testing you just like He did when He asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. He just wanted to see how far you would obey Him." Don't you just *love* her analogy? I do! :-)

This morning, I woke up feeling like a new chapter has indeed started after five months of waiting.

And, I am thankful for The Author... He who is easy to surrender to.

He who is always good and He whose love is relentless, never letting go and always finding me!  

Compassion is a command, an act of worship, a song of thanks to Him.

Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with God!